Judge — December 19, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Flatter’s Christmas H, PLUMBER, lay the Yule log low ipe its joint in hast. its merry glow, Though 'tis a fearful waste. Oh, Christmas comes but once a year! There! Turn it off, for gas is dear. Oh, janitor, turn on the steam And let the pipes be warm, For Santa is behind his team And pelting through the storm. Be kind, or else, a little later, He'll freeze within our radiator, Oh, florist, bring our Christmas tree And set it on the table. One scarce could tell what might it be, If "twere not for the label. But, see! A larger one than that Could not be fitted to our flat. w, hang the children’s stockings here. To Santa, let's commit them! Nay, gracious landlord, have no fear! We have no child to fit them. We know that you do not approve, And who would take us, should we move? Their Glee “He boasts that he came of a fine old ; and how they must have laughed when he left!"" SUBSTITUTION “ Have you a circulating library?" Egg View Notes INK NITZ has asked Sherm Spoor over to breakfast at his place Christmas, which has caused Sherm to fear that, outside of that, the day will be one of misery for him. A real home-talent minstrel enter- tainment, to show here some night during Christmas week, practiced a rehearsal Tuesday night, upstairs over the lock-up, while Ote Gimber stood across the street, talking and sneering, so as to damage it a great deal, if pos- sible. Ote spoke for the interlocker's part, and didn’t get it. Wanting to carefully examine the contents, Witt Larcom helped Bill Waite, our grocer, to open upa long box of holiday presents Friday mornin Unless something don’t go right, Cylindra Berger ain't apt to forget this year’s Christmas Day. Dow Lud- lum is figuring on making her a little remembrance, which will consist of providing her with a better view, from her window, of Corny Paine’s front door. All Dow expects to do is to move his cowshed over a few feet. The fire alarm Monday night proved to be a false one. Immediately after discovering that he saw a light in the grocery cellar, about eight o’clock, Chet Lumley concluded that a fire was at hand. Further investigation, how- ever, showed that it was Bill Waite, “No, ma'am; but I can show you some nice revolving bookcases A NRHA. —— at ay re aN i wie t CHRISTMAS DAY IN CALIFORNIA down there with a lantern, busily en- gaged in disguising some last year's holiday gifts. Knowing full well that he deserves some kind of a Yuletide reminder for himself, Truman Bilge sent off three weeks ago after a pair of catalogue shoes, which came yesterday, only to be wrapped up again and rushed back, with the news that both of his feet are the same size. While doing some shopping in a crowded Pollywog store Saturday night Wes Weese had one of his pockets picked by some stranger. He claims that he felt somebody, but said nothing about it, thinking that it was Ag, his wife, who was with him at the time. Having been seen on the street sev- eral times lately wearing a pair of tree climbers he got somewhere, Witt Lar- com has been instructed to keep down off of Erny Neff's barber pole. —Leslie Van Every. His Discovery “I find,’ confessed skimpy little Mr. Meek, ‘‘that I do the housework easier and quicker when my wife is not at home to help me.””