Judge — December 12, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas Grist MICHIGAN has an anti-profanity law which makes it a misdemeanor to swear in the presence of a woman. does not, however, forbid a man to swear at their presents. Christmas Credit “Have you started anything for your husband for Christmas?’’ “Yes; an account at High & Company’s."” For the Time Being Ardent admirer—Dearest, I have brought you no paltry Christmas gift. Iask you to take me for the present. Chicago widow—Well, if it is to be only temporary, you are mine. Making Sere Mrs. Oldun—I buy my husband a box of cigars every Christmas, Mrs. Newed—But I thought you objected to his smoking at home. Mrs. Oldun—So I do—and he never does. A New Definition Teacher—What is the difference between militarism and militancy? Pupil—Muitancy is the feminine for militarism! BENEFIT FOR SUFFERERS IN EUROPE Who suffers the more, the sufferers or the audience ? On the Road ? “Has he reformed?” “Not exactly. He’s just flirting with It conscience.” Baseball player—Now, caddie, put over a hot inshoot and we'll see whether I get a two-hundred-yard hit or not ! Speculating on the Future GOOD-TALKING real-estate agent had captured the Eastern man and sold him a tract of land out in the woods, near Seattle. The buyer felt op- timistic over the future of the Pu- get Sound country and told one of the natives of his purchase. “So you bought land in the stumps and logs, off the road and where the district will not be settled in forty years, and paid one hundred and fifty dollars an acre for it,’’ said the old resident, while the marks of a broad smile creased the back of his neck. “Yes,’’ said the enthusiastic new- comer, as visions of wealth raised the hair on his head; ‘‘and I think that in a few years it will be worth the price.”” An Elusive Expression She smiled at me! I beamed with ecstasy, Until I came to find Her smiles were certainly not meant for me, But some one else behind. Bad Business Business man—How is the pub- lishing business these days? Editor—Very good, except for the powder magazines.