Judge, 1914-12-12 · page 19 of 24
Judge — December 12, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece by Francis X. Oswald mocks Congressional censorship during World War I (dated December 1914). The joke: congressmen's heated partisan debates are so bitter and profane that the *Congressional Record*—normally a dry, sanitized official document—requires heavy censorship to maintain decorum. The humor comes from reproducing fake Congressional exchanges filled entirely with redacted passages (dots and blanks), suggesting the original text was too inflammatory or insulting to print. Named figures like Mann (Illinois), Heflin (Alabama), Fitzgerald (New York), Penrose (Pennsylvania), Lewis (Illinois), and Reed (Missouri) are real congressmen depicted as so acrimonious they can barely speak without violating neutrality or basic civility. The satire critiques both Congressional dysfunction and wartime censorship—implying that American politicians are so divided they need censoring like wartime propaganda. The page also contains unrelated period advertisements (Nabisco wafers, art instruction).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a ee ee ae re sever aea' What's Not in Washington Things That Might Have Taken Place ia the Nation’s Capital, but Havea’t By FRANCIS X. OSWALD Washington Correspondent of Jonas (Special Dispatch to Jupam) WasuincTon, D.C., December 12, 1914— ‘The censorship fever has hit Washington, and even the staid old Congressional Rec- ord has shown the evidences of war. But it was the only way in which this tame and domesticated family journal could maintain its reputation for soporific quietness and hold onto its sanitarium circulation. For these have been exciting days among the congressional belligerents. The per- petual sessions have made even the kindli- est old gentlemen bitter and irascible. And Congress never was exactly an em- broidery bee. So we discover excerpts in the Con- gressional Record like the following: “Mr. Mann, of Illinois: The gentleman from .... (name deleted by censor) is an unmitigated If it were not for the rules of this more or less .... body, I should take .... in.... the .... out of the window. But I must curb my...., for I realize that the .... is a Democrat, and therefore .... and . os. “Mr. Heflin, of Alabam hesitate to reply tothe .... from ...., but if I had my way, his .... and peerless State of +++. would go unrepresented. It is hard enough to bea ...., without being abused for it; but if I were a Republican, I would be .... if I would .... or ...., in the «s+. precincts of this .... Capitol. “Mr. Fitzgerald, of New York: Mr. Speaker, I rise to a point of .... The «++. from .... and .... have no right to ++-. and call each other .... Under the President’s proclamation, we must be neu- tral. For my part, we are going to have veutrality if I have to .... every .... that dares to .... or .... in this House. If the .... from .... dares ...., he isa ooee ADD Bo... wee” And so on and so forth. But it was worse in the Senate. There a whole afternoon’s running fire of flank- ing movements kept the censor on the jump. And when he got through, the record looked something like this: “Mr. Penrose, of Pennsylvania: Mr. President, I resent the .... of the .... from... To... ..08 . “Mr. Lewis, of Illinois: I.... .... The Vice-President: The .... from «and .... will please come to order. ‘Mr. Reed, of Missouri: I protest inst this ...., because of .... .... “Mr, Penrose: *1¢* 211272 “Mr. Lewis: SE EET Ps ye an? wonder Hague conferences are fu- ie. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER. “Ite parity has made it famous.” + We the enee of six clase stoppered bottles. [4DvT.] NABISCO / Sugar Wafers —entrancing sweets which are always and everywhere popular. Wafer confec- tions centered with deli- cately flavored cream. The perfect accompani- ment for every dessert. In ten-cent tins; also in twenty-five-cent tins, NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY ANOLA —a new conception in chocolate-flavored sweets. Exquisite wafers of crisped baking with choc- olate-flavored cream nestling between. Anola has achieved a new delight which only taste can tell— a flavor which gives immediate pleasure. In ten-cent tins, | | Be An Artist | Make Money Drawing Comic Pictures. Let the world’s famous cartoonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill | a few ideas into your head. Get the Zim Book— it’s chuck full of valuable suggestions. Price $1.00 postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Morocco. Satisfaction guar- anteed. Money back if book returned in ten days. | address ZIM. Book bese 212 Brunswick Bldg., New York comicbooks.com