Judge — December 5, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

September 30, 1812, the main etreet, tos, politics pur nd ont." Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years" It’s pure, mellow flavor and rare fragrance have helped to smooth over many an argument, A pledge of sincerity between friends. Aged in charred oak barrels, distilled and bottled in bond. A. OVERHOLT & CO. Pittsburgh, Pa, Until the subject was ta Instant Bunion Relief Prove It At My Expense dress and treatment will te sent yoo promptly to plain sealed envelope. FOOT REMEDY CO., 3512 W. 26th St., Chicago. a Only Frene 1. Filler of Hay to ose io brated Jost Rarn big money drawing fox stem of personal in- Write for Mastrated Magazine, teri plls. Send sample of work for tree critict struction by MAI Day and eve Associated Art Studios, 2107 Flatiron sees, ing, New York. Passing We Need To Live We need to live—for life is more Than eating, drinking, wearing, Than seeking pleasures door to door, And hither, thither faring. By artificial dress and speech We teach the world to doubt us, And ery for riches out of reach, While joy lies all about us. We need to love—for life is more Than drinking, wearing, eating; The outer mortal striving for, The inner mortal cheating. The tinsel things of life we clutch, While skies are blue above us, While here beside us at our touch Are those who long to love us. —Douglas Malloch, in American Lumber- man. Betrayed—Peals of laughter came from the president's room as the secretary stepped out. “*Mr. Green is too busy to see you at present,’’ said the secretary politely. “I'm sorry,’’ said the man who called on business, ‘‘Will you go back and tell Mr. Green that I’ve got two stories just as good as the one he’s heard, if he'll let me in to tell them?’’—Detroit Free Press. A Happy Possibility—‘‘Let’s drop into this restaurant.” “T don’t believe I care to eat anything.” ‘Well, come in and get a new hat for your old one, anyway.’’—Boston Tran- script. Unbearable—Jess—I understand Flossy Flingfoot has quit her position in Mr. Scadheap’s office. Tess—Yes, she left him yesterday. Jess—Too much work? Tess—No; but there wasn’t a looking- glass or a clock in the place.—Youngs- town Telegram. Silver Lining —Spinster—How many Ma- sonic lodges did you say your husband be- longed to? Wife—Fifteen, Spinster—My goodness! Just think of aman being out fifteen nights a week! I'm glad I'm an old maid!—Philadelphia Ledger. All Asleep—‘‘So you went to church last Sunday?’’ asked the doubtful one. “Then, to prove it, what was the text?” “The text was, ‘He giveth His beloved sleep.’"’ You're all right. How many of the congregation were there?’’ “All the beloved, it seemed to me.’’— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Couldn’t Take It—Dr. Curem—You will find your dyspepsia greatly alleviated, Mr. Peck, by cheerful and agreeable con- versation at your meals, Mr. Peck—That's good advice, doc, but my income will not permit me to eat away from home.—Terre Haute Express. A Natural Question—‘‘How beautifully they dance together “Yes. I wonder whose husband her partner is?’’—Detroit Free Press. the Mustard Political Tact—‘‘You'll have some ex. plaining to do when you get home, won't you?’”” “No,” replied the member of Congress, “I'm not going to explain. I’m going to let my constituents argue matters out among themselves, and then take the side that seems to have the most advocates,” — Washington Star. A Brightener — ‘How's the baby?” asked the neighbor of the new father, “*Fine!'’ said the proud parent, “Don’t you find that a baby brightens up a household wonderfully?” pursued the friend. said the parent, with a sigh; ave the gas going most of the night '—New York Globe. The Test—‘‘We've been married eight years and have never had an argument.” “Then you've never tried to dance any of the modern dances with your wife.”— Detroit Free Press. Good Advice—‘‘Just tired of him, eh?” asked the lawyer. The actress nodded, “‘Well, I wouldn't advise you to sue at this time. The war is crowding every- thing else off the front pages.'’—Phila- delphia Ledger. A Beginning—‘‘ What do the suffragettes want, anyhow? “‘We want to sweep the country, dad.” “Well, do not despise small beginnings. Suppose you make a start with the dini room, my dear.’’ — Louisville Conrier- Journal. Her Solicitude—Fred—My dear Dora, let this thought console you for your lov- er’sdeath. Remember that other and bet- ter men than he have gone the same way. Bereaved one~—They haven't all gone, have they?—New York Sun. Not Easy Enough—‘'I wonder why so few people get to the top?”’ “Possibly because there is no elevator to take them there.’’—Baltimore American. Just Like '"Em—‘‘Men are always late. I have waited here since six o'clock for my husband to come, and it is now seven- thirty.”” “+At what hour were you to meet him asked the woman who had joined her. “At five o’clock.”"—Bufjalo Courier. ” Litigation—Lawyer—So you want to make a case of it? Farmer—Yes, by jing! I offered to settle by fair means, an’ he wouldn't. So I decided I'd hire a lawyer an’ have him took into court.—Livingston Lance. The Grand Tour—Mazie—Artie, where are we going on our honeymoon? Artie—Around the world, darling. They are going to give it in seven reels at corner picture show.—New York Globe. Her Idea—Mr. Pester—If this isn’t the most daring, outspoken play on the stage I’d like to see the one that is! Mrs, Pester—Doubtless you would — Brooklyn Eagle.