Judge — December 5, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Boston Gartk Viens An essential of Correct Dress Z! Lisle 25¢ E Silk 50¢ Hts Yorr-Sodk Stnootin as Your Skim GEORGE FROST CO. Aétew. BOSTON COPY THIS SKETCH You x, a8 and let me ee what you can do with it, can earn $20.00 to B12).00 « ‘Stand acid and fire diamond test, So hard they easily scratch a fle and Brilliancy guaran. outed in }4k solid gold them before nay. Develop Your Talent by the ZIM'S. Cor- Fespondence School fw Farina $ Sow System. Cartooning, Wanted Lal dag te ites Kidawan wot CNEoos* Rew Vert, WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? | Protect your ideas, they may bring you wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” ard * Get Your P. and Your Money.” Patent Attorneys Dept. 129, Washington, D. Riflga — Pistols —Cartridees Spertamen’s Supplies iene care or Katalog & CLEMENT CO. POW & Coletinaal, "How to pe & Co, The Happy Medium For Sale on all News-stands would stand a fat chance if he entered said institution minus anecktie. Assoon as he stated his business, a large person with a prominent jaw and knobby shoul- ders would seize him by the southeast corner of his trousers and throw him out onto the street with such enthusiasm that it would take the street department three days to repair the damage to the pave- ment. He couldn’t enter a store without being jostled and insulted by a hard-eyed store detective with angular-toed shoes and flat feet. Whenever he rode in a street car, persons near him would place their hands caressingly on their wallets and move quietly but firmly to the oppo- site end of the car. Wherever he went, he would be as welcome as a case of measles in a young ladies’ seminary. But it is as a Christmas gift that the necktie shines out above all other wear- ing apparel like a flash of lightning ina steamer trunk. Picture to yourselves, my good friends —you, Emma, who wish to hand your brother Ed a fitting remembrance of this joyous Yuletide season; you, Joel, who wish to slip some slight token of your esteem to your colleague Milton; you, little Minnie, who are desirous of easing your valued pa a seemly gift; you, De- liria, who would fain come through with a symbol of your love and affection for your husband Clement—picture to your- se.ves vour sorry plight were the necktie to vanish from off the face of the earth and the front of the department store. (Five minutes inay now be taken out for picturing.) We go to buy Christmas gifts. Weex- amine silver dewflickers, we price near- rhinestone ornaments, we look at almost- cigars, we ask about lamps, we glance hastily at guaranteed non-fittable smoking jackets, we meditate over green-corn hold- ers, books with solid mahogany interiors, unsafety razors, twenty-mule-team whis- key, pipe wracks—yes, pipe wracks, mustache trimmers, ear lappets, nose warmers, form-fitting pocketbooks, self- cranking cigar lighters, egg peelers, cal- endar tearers and other articles of similar value and attractiveness, Then, after we have perspired heavily for the better part of two hours, endeavoring to decide upon one of the objects, we buy a necktie. We knew before we started that we were going to buy a necktie, and we did. If there hadn’t been a necktie there for us to buy, the strain of deciding ona Christmas present would have caused us to fall on the floor in convulsions, and we would have waked up in the psychopathic ward, with the inside of an ice chest on our heads, and an attendant by our bed- side to rap us on the forehead in case we started to get violent. It will be a sad day for the human race when the necktie is tossed into the discard. Somebody ought to start a na- tional fund to build a monument to the necktie. Pears’ Cleanliness is a neces- sity that knows a law— Pears’ Soap. Pears’ is born a law and a necessity for toilet and bath. A Worth-While Christmas Gift Letters of a Self-Made Failure ‘Letters of a | SELF-MADE By Maurice Switzer FAILURE With 16 brittiant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin, Setting forth in a humorous, Unique, epigrammatic style a Common-sense, livable Code of business ethics which Eventually Spetts Success. Press Opinions: Written ina lively, ‘ew York Times, sof witty letters embodying wistem, 1 nd a paltable sauce of its maxims could be founded a Society for the Vrevention of Failures, Spendtheifts and other Is.— Baltimore S lers from one bi up of hard sense shington Star, and straight // aie ettiether you are, office boy, it Will be prof- swell as entertaining to jun carefully, — Memphis NeweScimiter. m Published by Small, May Boston her to another /