Judge, 1914-11-21 · page 8 of 24
Judge — November 21, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century social trends and gender relations: **"Love in a Cottage (Up to Date)"** critiques the "New Woman" movement. A man rents a cottage expecting domestic bliss, but his girlfriend—described as a "feminist"—refuses to stay, demanding he "hire a hall" instead. The satire suggests feminists reject traditional domesticity, viewing it as constraining rather than romantic. **"Competition"** mocks children's boasting about world travel, culminating in one child claiming his grandmother has "gone to heaven"—a darkly humorous non-sequitur suggesting even the afterlife is now a competitive travel destination. **"His Thanksgiving Dinner"** shows a wife asking her husband to omit grace, implying cynicism about blessing their circumstances—likely referencing post-WWI disillusionment (the page references "dogs of war"). The "Travel Tips" section is satirical definitions of tourist-related terms, poking fun at travelers and foreign customs. Overall, the page reflects anxieties about changing gender roles and post-war cultural shifts.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TWENTY MILES FROM ANYWHERE Tom—Ii's no use, we're here till 1o-morrow. simply because you were passe would ruin you. The new woman has no use for an old man."’ “She isn't even sat- isfied with a live moaned “She puts an ampere meter on him and reads it every day, to see if the cur- rent is all it ought to be."" Lost! Reward of the world’s gratitude and no questions asked, for the return of PEACE, lost somewhere between Budapest and Berlin. Last seen holding the empty col- lars of the dogs of war. Not in Stock Wise father—Remember, my son, that there are many things which you cannot buy with money. Sophisticated son—Yes, I know; but the stores don’t keep them. His Fall Jones—Yes, 1 met the widow, and I fell for her. Joker—Did you break anything when you fell? Jones -- Yes; every ‘bone’ in my pocketbook. Bill—What is to-morrow? Travel Tips Cable—A coil of wire con- necting the stranded traveler with the home bank, Tip—That portion of the salary of a camel driver, gar- con, chambermaid or usher which the employer allows the tourist to pay. Donkey—The Cairo Lim- ited. Baksheesh—The call of the East. Consul—An Ohio journal- ist exiled to Nijni-Novgorod or Bingen-on-the-Rhine and condemned to hear the trou- bles of innocents abroad. Franc—A small coin with which to insult a garcon. Spa—A purgatory for gout. Smuggling—The art of not rendering unto the customs collector that which is the customs collector's, Glacier—The cold, white covering separating the Swiss scenic effects from the outer shell of tourists, Englishman--A piece of glacier wrapped in checked cloth, Guide—A walking bureau of misinformation.—s, B. Stone. Tom—Thanksgiving Love in a Cottage (Up to Date) I RENTED me a cottage, Within a woodland nook T bought me pans and pot I captured me a cook. All life seemed rapt and rosy; Birds sang in every tree, “Here, with my sweet, how cozy I thought, “the days will be!” My love has lips like peaches, As sweet as ever kissed; But she is fond of speeches— She is a feminist! And so my pans and pottage, They failed to hold her thrall. She said, ‘'Fie on your cottage! You'd better hire a hall!" —Clintom Scotland Competition “My Uncle Bill’s been down to Panama!" bragged little Harry. Sho! ‘That's nothin’,’’ re- torted little Billy. ‘My brother Jim’s been to Australia!’’ “Well, what if he has? My father’s gone to Egypt!" said little Harry. “Pooh!"’ ejaculated little Billy. ‘*My grandmother's gone to heaven!’" HIS THANKSGIVING DINNER Wife—Under the circumstances, William, omit the blessing.