Judge — November 21, 1914 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MODERN WOMAN Mustard and Cress By ETHEL R. PEYSER Mascoline or Feminine Scene: In an office of a business woman. Dramatis person: Business woman. Office boy. Business woman (calling)—Come in! Office boy—Package, ma’am. Business woman—Bring it in and open it. Office boy (struggling with cord on pack- age)—Y-e-s, ma’am. Business woman (impatiently )—Hurry, boy! Cut the cord. Here—-take my pen- knife. Office boy—You! A—pen— lady carryin’ a penknife! Business woman (sarcastically)—Why not? Because they are a convenience con- trolled solely, for ages, by men? Office boy (dazed at this onslaught)— O-h, n-o, ma’am; because they are so dangerous for ladies. Business woman (persist- ently)—Did you ever gasp when your mother or sister cut your meat or sliced your bread with great big knives that had no sheaths to protect them? Office boy (not abashed) —N-o, ma’am; but them was feminine knives! (Curtain.) Wot! A Sigas of Subserviency in Women 1. Dresses without pock- ets. (Convenience is a heinous sin in women’s dress.) 2. High heels. (A com- fortable and easy stride is considered most unfeminine. ) 3. A few established beliefs: That floor scrubbing is feminine. (It is so good for the dainty woman’s hands!) That men never gossip. litical campaign. ) That marriage is a woman’s only salva- tion. (Ever hear of a woman being di- vorced?) That women are better cooks than men. (Visit a hotel kitchen.) That the franchise is only withheld because women don’t want it “badly enough.’’ (Talk to some effete young men.) That men never bicker and squabble and then make up like lambs. (See the Wilson-Harvey-Watterson triangle fire!) (See any po- Suffrage Snapshots By IDA HUSTED HARPER 'N ALL but one of the New York public- school gymnasiums the number of girls exceeds the number of boys. This does not indicate that the girls are pre- paring to be militant suffragettes, but only that the boys would rather smoke cigarettes and shoot craps. le} A New York paper sagely remarks, “Under any system we shall not get a government of cherubs until we become cherubs ourselves.’’ That's too long ahead. Men have always told women they were angels, so why not begin with woman suffrage as a first step? a According to the latest medical discov- ery, love causes an intoxication of the nerve centers which may lead to insanity. AN INEVITABLE RESULT OF THE WAR TO BE THANKFUL That is probably why people who are in love are said to be crazy about each other —their nerve centers are on a jag. Cyn- ics might call marriage an intoxication cure. a The big council of the Chippewas in Wisconsin recently declared for woman suffrage. The Indians know what it is to be without a vote; they are not like the chesty white men, who never did a thing to earn one and therefore don’t want to share it. Oo If the New York women keep on roll- ing up that big suffrage fund, the men will feel it their bounden duty to take over the management of the amendment campaign. Curbside Comments By OREOLA W. HASKELL Conversations Between an Old and a New Woman on Basiness O. W.—I am so disgusted with women! It took me a whole hour this morning to get my tickets for the concert, on account of the long line of slow and foolish fem- inines ahead of me. On my way I meta woman who was left money by her hus- band, and now she’s weeping because an unscrupulous lawyer got it away from her. I went to court on my accident case, and my counsel almost lost it, be- cause the women witnesses couldn’t stick to the point, but dragged in a lot of irrel- evant matter. And, last of all, I met Mr. Gotgold, who was tearing mad be- cause his wife, not understanding the check system, overdrew her bank account. I quite agreed with him when he said women are a pack of fools when it comes to business. N. W. erhaps some are; but did you and Mr. Gotgold ever ask yourselves why? There’s only one answer—lack of train- ing. The family may chuckle at mother’s rambling stories, but they don’t check them. A woman can do her housework mostly at her own sweet will, time not having the money-jingle sound it has to men; and so, innocently dawdling in public places, she arouses murderous impulses in the ~ male breast. She’s taught it’s sweet and lovely to trust hubby, and when at last he makes for the Styx, having the habit of credu- lity, she smiles trustingly through her tears at the first newcomer. Last of all, before mar- riage banks and she range far apart; hence their ways befuddle a brain wont to wrestle only with cake receipts. It’s Mrs. Domesticity who outrages business rules, not her sister, Miss Wage-earner. A man’s sex rarely gets the blame for his failings; a woman's always does, Old Ignorance, peeping out of ambush, must have many a laugh, seeing the resounding whack due his own dull pate descend with crushing force on a perfectly innocent party. Two More! Montana and Nevada are to be added jlaxy of States that have adopted equal suffrage. The energetic women of the West are to be congratulated. comicbooks.com