Judge, 1914-11-21 · page 14 of 24
Judge — November 21, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on American conventions and social conformity circa the early 1900s. **Main Article**: "No Slave to Conventions" features a dialogue (attributed to Artemus Ward writing) between a narrator and a man named McFee. McFee claims he's not enslaved by social conventions, yet the narrator systematically demonstrates that McFee *is* bound by them—he celebrates Thanksgiving because the President orders it, wears fashionable (if impractical) hats and low shoes, tips waiters, and carries a cane-umbrella. The satire targets the hypocrisy of people who boast of independence while rigidly following fashion and etiquette. **Bottom cartoon**: "Not Like Other Girls" shows a maid and mistress discussing bathing and laundry. The humor appears to hinge on the maid's confusion between "bluing" (a laundry additive) and the mistress's implicit moral judgment, with absurdist humor about an aviator falling through the roof. The page mocks conformism and pretentious claims of individuality among the middle class.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
S(THANKFUL? pessesesesesesesesesesese2 “If you weren’t thankful that you are Of course not a slave to conventions, what would I am thankful,” [U N O° S 1 ave to you be thankful for?’ I asked. asserted McFee, “Why,” he rep! ng himself up when I asked my Convention s grandly, Ido believe I would make up customary annual my mind to be thankful that I was not— question. “‘And Ke ARTEMUS WARD CTTING 3!" while others may tee Gi be thankful for Sesesesesesesesesesesese Trying other things, lam Miss Qu What is the most irritating thankful that I am not a slave to con- steps in calm and shelters me in inclem- thing t ever happens to a doctor? ventions. "" ent weather.”” Dr, Pill-—So have a mule-headed pa- I was duly impressed, but in a mood to “But you're not aslave toconventions."’ tient throw away his medicine, do every- be convinced. For he is conventional I'm thankful Lam not. I'm tre- thing I forbid, and then get well in two enough to celebrate Thanksgiving, said —mendously pleased to n that the con- — weeks, when I've told him that with good day being the last Thursday in November, ventions call for things that please my — care he might be able to sit up inside of and the last being the next Thursday. fancy. 1’m thankful for that.’" a month. And he is conventional enough to fol- low the styles. “But a slave has to be dragged, explained, when I pointed out this spot in his argument against his sche of things, ‘‘and a follower follows. That follows, doesn’t it?”’ “Perfectly. Still, you observe Thanksgiving."”’ “The President so orders, and, be- sides, it means a day of rest from business. But, by and large, I'm usually thankful the year around. pu are Wearing one of the mon- es that men call hats."" “With a reason. The stores will sell you no other kind than these freak things. But I find them economical. I trim mine with my summer hosiery and my freak neckti **You wear low shoes. “Economy again. They come only half as high as shoes. There is time saved in the lacing of them, as one doesn't have to cover so much area, a slave to convent I've worn them ever since, wearing the first, I dropped some change and it caught in the cuff. Now I place my bills down there, with the absolute knowledge that in the event of a hold-up it is perfectly safe. The dust which col- lects there ordinarily is not the dust that can be coined. “You tip the waiter in the restau- rant.”” He shrugged his shoulders. **I must eat. 1 must dine my customers. 1 must have the best of service. Yes, I but for reason.’" You carry a cane.”’ “Oh, please don't show your igno- 2 Ee ~~ 5 rance!"' he snorted. ‘‘That'’s an um- NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS brella cane or a cane umbrella. It j , eae ; i Newe maid—Blain’ in yer bath? Why, bluin’ is fer clothes! assists my feeble and tottering foot- Miss Madesty—Or for lack of them. Supposing an aviator should fall through the roof ?