Judge, 1914-11-14 · page 12 of 24
Judge — November 14, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Cartoon ("Any Railroad Station—Any Day"):** Shows a woman (Elinor) at a train station, apparently saying goodbye to a man (Orson) departing for military service in "the Fatherland" (Germany). The joke hinges on Elizabeth's reply: she engaged Orson yesterday at a dog show—meaning he was hired as a dog handler or similar worker, not a romantic partner. The satire mocks the assumption that all departures are patriotic military service when mundane employment changes are equally likely. **"Reasons Why" Section:** A list of social ironies explaining common behaviors—fashion drives frivolous spending, poverty causes large families, insurance fraud is rampant, gambling losses are inevitable, etc. This cynical commentary on human nature and societal hypocrisy is typical of Judge's satirical voice. **Restaurant and Political Jokes:** Brief humorous anecdotes about social pretension and misunderstanding—a waiter's deference explained by class anxiety, a politician's farm-boy rhetoric humorously misinterpreted by a literal-minded farmer. The page exemplifies Judge's blend of social satire and wordplay.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ANY RAILROAD STATION—ANY DAY he had patriotically decided to do his duty in the Fatherland. “Elizabeth, dear,’’ cried Elinor over the ‘phone a few min- utes later, ‘‘what do you think? I’m almost as unlucky as you are. Orson’s gone!"’ “But I'm not particularly unlucky, dear- est,’’ replied Elizabeth. ‘‘I engaged Orson yesterday at the Dog Show."" Reasons Why— Freak garments are worn - Fashion makes many cowards, The poor have so large families— They have so few other pleasures, There are so many fires of unknown origin—It is so easy to get fire insurance, Trusts are wicked—Most of us have no stock in them. Gambling is immoral— Because nearly everybody loses at it. There are so many automobile accidents—Drivers think only of the going and not at all of the stopping. So many suspect graft in all politics—They know they would be grafting themselves if they were on the inside. Some women want votes—They believe men don’t want them to have them. At the Restaurant Tess—Why is that magnificent waiter, who treats even the men with condescension, so humble to you, and you barely tip him? Jess—Sh-h-h-h! I know the secret of his life. He is the husband of my washwoman, and I have seen him wearing carpet slippers, rocking the bab Not What He Meant “Friends,” said the politician, ‘I, too, was reared on the farm. Ican almost say I grew up between two stalks of corn.” “A pumpkin, by golly!” drawled a farmer in the audience. Those who jump at conclusions often fall short of the facts, UNDESIRABLE PUBLICITY Monsieur Poirette—Will madam please not stand before the door; people will think this is a barber shop.