Judge, 1914-11-07 · page 13 of 24
Judge — November 7, 1914 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"A Shattered Romance"** mocks a failed courtship: Stumpleigh loses his telephone-operator girlfriend because she was too flirtatious and didn't take his proposal seriously—so "they rung off" (a pun on telephone disconnection). **"An Inducement"** cartoon shows a real estate agent pitching a dangerous property location to a doctor, darkly joking that the sharp road curve will generate business for him. The remaining pieces are brief comedic vignettes about social etiquette and relationships: a boy sparing his ill father's feelings, a girl extracting a written marriage proposal before agreeing to romance, and legal/moral commentary on relationships. The overall tone satirizes Victorian-era courtship conventions, parental supervision, and commercialism, typical of Judge's satirical approach to American social life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
remove the dust of history that Mr. Chambers allows to settle upon her here and there. Taking it from begin- ning to end, or the other way around if you like to read the last page first, ‘‘The Hidden Children” is, for its author, a step backward in the right direction. Alas! Victoria Cross—she really isn’t, for her V. C. is only the self-decoration of a British armyofficer’sdaughter—has failed to see the errors of ker own and her hero- ines’ ways. Hilda, of ‘‘Hilda against the World,”’ not only has sea-blue eyes, Eolian harp voice, white ivory column throat, delicate vine hair, but she possesses dark tawny-brown eyebrows and sloping, supple, sinuous curves. Colonel Roland West has an insane wife and a consuming, overwhelming, without-you-I-will-kill- myself desire. A first-cl ket to Lake Como, and then, ‘‘My sweet.’’ Time flies, time drags. Personally I do not insist upon the canonical order of Sunday-school stories—1, Love; 2, Wedding bells; 3, Babies—but if these phenomena are to be varied, I want the psychical chemio-taxis of Nature's love-mak- ing with Juliets and Romeos, Hildas and Rolands, to be morally natural rather than immorally cultivated. I immeasurably prefer the sex stories of Pycraft’s ‘Courtship of Wild Animals’’ to hothouse novels addressed to a taste as arti- ficially created. Sex, if writers of sex fiction only knew it, is an even more wonderful thing in man than in ants and apes. — A. Shattered Romance “So Stumpleigh didn’t marry that télephone girl, after all,’ said Wiggles. “No,’’ said Hickenlooper. ‘‘She was too flirtatious. paid no attention to Stumpleigh’s ring, so they rung off.’" She ra pha Ons AN INDUCEMENT Real estate agent—Here's where you ought to locate, doctor. the road right at your door, You have one of the most dangerous turns in WIDENING THE BREACH Cynthia —Gladys says she is ready to make up if you are, Maud—I'd be ready to make up, too, if I had a complexion as muddy as hers. Next! AS THE alphabetic system seems to be applied to the nam- ing of styles of dress, it is fair to suppose that the pres- ent V style neck of ladies’ dresses will be followed by the succeeding letter—the W style. Out of Consideration for Father Teacher (sternly)—Well, William, did you tell your father what a naughty boy you were yesterday? Willian No’m, teacher. Poor father wasn’t feeling well last night, and I didn’t have the heart. Compensation The wind which stirs the fretting dust Blows up the soothing rain, There is no evil all unjust, Nor any good all gain. Particular Harry—Gertrude’s parents are very particular about her moral education. Harrict—In what way? Harry—In every way. In school last week they wanted the teacher to excuse her from improper fractions. A Wise Girl “Ah, Marie,’’ said the ardent young billionaire, ‘‘I love you more than tongue can tell !"" “Good work !"" replied the demure tle chorus girl. ‘‘Put it in writing, Sydney. I'd rather have it down in black and white, anyhow.’” A Voluntary Risk She negligently laid her face Near his explosive kisses; hence Arose this comment on the case: “Contributory negligence.’’ comicbooks.com