Judge — October 31, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—- L Stories ‘with Siifes Can't Square Himself—An editor up in the northeastern part of the State is in bad on account of the write-up of a wed- ding. The bridegroom was named Gunn and his father Abram Gunn. The girl’s name was Smith. The editor turned in the copy to the office boy the last thing before going to press, then hurried t» the train, to b2 gone two days. When the paper was printed, the article was headed “Gunn Smith’’ and went on to say that the bride was arrayed in a dress of “white mile,"’ instead of white mull, and she carried a large ‘‘nose.’’ The editor wrote that the bridegroom was a well- liked son of A. Gunn, and the boy set it up, “The bridegroom is a wall-eyed son of a gun.’” The editor has never been able to square it with the Gunns and Smiths, and all of them quit taking the paper.—Donneborg (Neb.) News. Easily Arranged—A New Yorker was passing a night at a ‘‘hotel’’ in a South- ern town, and when going to his room for the night, he told the colored porter that be wanted to be called early in the morn- ing. The porter replied, ‘‘Say, boss, reckon yo’ ain't familiar with these heah mod- ern inventions. When you wants to be called in de mawnin’, all yo’ has to do is jest to press de button at de head of yo" bed. Den we comes up an’ calls yo’."’— National Food Magazine. Swimming Unnecessary—A young Scan- dinavian recently applied for a job as life- saver at the municipal baths in Minne- apolis, As he was about six feet six inches tall and well built, the chief life-saver gave him an application blank to fill out. “By the way,’’ said the chief life-saver, “can you swim?’’ “No,” replied the applicant; ‘‘but I can wade like blazes!’? — Everybody's Magazine. Covering the Case—Judge Gunday, of Atchison, tells this lawyer story: An Irish lawyer was attorney for a man charged with murder. Addressing the iudge, the attorney said, “Your honor, I shall first absolutely Prove to the jury that the prisoner could not have committed the crime with which heis charged. If that does not convince the jury, I shall show that he was insane when he committed it. a Prove an alibi.’’—Kansas City Jour- all, True to His Principles—A newcomer to Idaho from the strictly prohibition State of Kansas had the misfortune one wintry day to fall into the rapids of a swift-run- ning river when the thermometer stood Several degrees below zero. He was Only from BASCH can you get “05 DIAMONDS 91 . Perfect Cut 2 We lmport from the cuttersof Fa I direct to you. saving —and here’s the Reason: J0a'ore than 820 por entat ueanlly wasted byocedizon a aside men. World-wide sales permit emell profits: mail-methose ineure lieast tax from expense: hence this competition-emashiag pr per carat ‘only from Basch.’ "Send No Money! No Deposit! No References! Here's the popula ‘foe tested Rasch + Belect your diamond—any carat weight; choose any 14K. gold or ie am jam monating from thi me tinds we fliustrate, We ship complete at out invite any test or comparison. ‘n't oo 8 aang od $80 ger cara, ratera ot oot oe Never a Time Like NOW to Buy Diamonds MONEY BACK GUARANTEE as mach as our wonderful im Bort prices is responsi tor ¥. be Epataed or, time et fall ised, sarees eta Mountings at Cost “We sell ous UK Earners sttaie| Rashad 169, No Matiogs ae BUTS Omer ask P20 and] matorier dumoad ere E ery Sac ok the thowsaass sf monet | Monk’ cl Coleage {Capua $00,600 Hote dctizas masttacture sod fsstrats ort ae ak Sour eve beans: vced to pony as 89 extra caving. at ectual| fe, ht en pn fu Be toner of oe TOUR mC Rectory cost teed Wong eat tataied exten, This 128-Page De Luxe Diamond Book Free! Cowtest, mont complece bent on damon ever poblished._ Contains information by recom ais TeneSta man nccentary to tay Diamonds ineligemt Thossande of Mcstations Sven Rigeesisot Fane of Dlsmoods, Watches, Jeweiry=aiiStacart makes at factory prices i eSrigty low by compariom, -Absobuely tee—wtite tor Rt NOW! L. BASCH & CO., Dept. x226 "Eni ene" 1915 BASCH DIAMOND BGDK Sor eSpace te ts fash lanes Wo re BETETOF; j American Queens A collection of Eight Art Prints, representing a series of clever covers from JUDGE, all of them dealing with man’s frailty and woman's loveliness. Six of the pictures by James Montgomery Flagg, one by Charles Sarka and one by Alonzo Kimball. An album of modern illustrative art worthy a’ place on any library table, and so bound as to render each of the subjects able for framing, if desired. Printed on heavy enameled paper, in full colors, 13 x 16; and bound into a flexible portfolio, stitched with silk cord. Price, $1.00 JUDGE 225 Fifth Avenue, New York A ie Most delightful short sea trip out of any American port, affording week-end va- OLD POINT COMFORT, NORFOLK and RICHMOND Special 4-Day, a0 Water Tour 888 miles of ¢ Including all all water expenses travel fhe and ashore, week day at 3 P.M. from Pier 25, R., New York. Send for illustrated pamphlet No. 37. W. Lb. Woodrow, Traf. Mgr. J.J. Brown, Gen. Pass. Agt, comicbooks.com