Judge — October 31, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MERICA TheTransAtlantic Flying Boag Great Wester For Your Occasions Extra Dry Special Reserve (Very Dry) Made ia America — Highest Mosors in France, The oaty American Champarae ever Awarded a Gold Medal at Foreiga Expositions. Paris Ex- 867. Paris Exposition, Pris Expoation, France, 1990. A ria, 1873. Brurelles Braxelles Expo- wewor Mite diamonds. Briliancy guaranteed >» Yorever” Stand ie, acsdand fre like diamonds: Haven baste fol or backing. See gnly in le karat solid wold Bountings. &* Xbout ‘diamonds. Ca ez6 Washzeea Are, SLs HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 82, 34 and 96 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 2) Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF ! a JOFTIS eases 8a ee pene, Dept. Isis, 108M. State St, CHICAGO, ILL? Xmas Gift Superb Proof Red Cedar 15Days’ Free Trial How happy and grateful the ‘who beccmmes the prood® Fetmoot ro ‘on 1, Write for 46 Firpwovr ep ce The Happy Medium For Sale on all News-stands Passing the Mustard The Dentist A dentist’s ways are very rough. He keeps you wondering still To find your mouth is big enough To hold a rolling mill. ‘ashington Star. Before he’s got your stumps ground down And got your crowns to fit, He's got your mouth stretched big enough To hold a plumber’s kit. —Houston Post. And ere he gets the plugs plugged in, Why, this has come to pass: You feel you have the jawbone of — (I needn't write it out.) —Memphis Commercial Appeal. And when the crown work is complete, Another job he tries, And with his hammer, drill and lathe Constructs a bridge of size. —New York Sun. One thing about the dentist makes Us mad as all creation; He fills our mouth with funny fakes, Then hogs the conversation. —Youngstown Telegram. And when his job is at its worst— You think he means to kill— He tells a funny story to Offset his fiendish drill. A Clever Woman—‘‘Mrs. Chink has hit on a plan to keep her husband from smok- ing in the parlor.’’ “*What did she do?’” “She hung the portraits of her three former husbands there."’—Chicago Rec- ord Herald. His Fire Badge—St. Peter—You can’t come in here. Reporter —1 guess I can. (Shows badge. ) St. Peter—Not on that; that lets you inside the fire lines. This is the other place.—Club-Fellow. Good Guess—‘‘Ah, my poor man,” said the benevolent old lady, ‘I suppose you are often pinched by want and hunger, are you not?"’ “Yessum; and cops.’"—Cincinnati Com- mercial Tribune. Liberal, Indeed—‘‘And are the divorce laws so very liberal in your section?” “Liberal? Say! They are so liberal that nobody ever heard of a woman cry- ing at a wedding out there.'’’—Detroit Journal. Misunderstood—‘‘Since the war began, the women have been taking the places of the men on the Paris street cars."” ‘Well, they’d do it here, but the men are too ill-mannered to get up.’’"—Buffalo Express: Letters of a SELF-MAD FAILURE Ry Maurice Switzer “The Biggest Little * Book of the Decade” MAURICE SWI RS Letters of a Self - Made Failure Handsomely bound in cloth, 180 pages with 14 brilliant pen draw- ings by FRANK GODWIN. Crisp—Trenchant—A pt When you read this little book you chuckle; then you THINK! And a book that makes you think pays well for the reading. What You Get For Your Dollar Inspiration to look life in the eye and grin. Courage to go on and on, and win out. Moral backbone to admit your faults. Tolerance for your neighbor—respect for yourself. A small but bottomless sack of wisdom nuggets. The thought - ge from which will sprout the bexinning of a bank-roll. Something helpful to pass along to your friend — your fellow worker — your employe. Not only an addition to your library, but a rich and copious fountain of re- freshment, spiced with the tingling sparkle of keen humor and the never failing flavor of horse sense. ———Coupon——— New York. me a copy of “Letters of