Judge — October 31, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A galosh is a gorgeous thing For wintry weather or for spring And if by luck you have a pair, Then you can get most anywhere. Still, if but one galosh you own, There is no cause to weep or moan. You merely teach yourself to hop From splashy pool to icy top. The exercise, it's plain to see, Is beneficial to one knee, And calf and thigh and ankle too— It makes one leg as good as two. Stuart Benson, Little Conversations A Subtle Maid L'TTLe Minkley had talked for an hour on the subject of evolution. “And now, my dear Miss Blisterton, do you believe in the missing link?’’ he said, i conclusion, “Yes, I do now,’’ replied the fair maiden; ‘‘though I didn’t until I saw you.’’ Economics “Father,”’ said little Willie Watkins, after a careful per- usal of the morning paper, ‘‘what is water for in stocks?"” “It isused to float the com- pany on when times are pros- perous, my son,’’ said Mr. Watkins, ‘‘and to help it liqui- date when times are bad."’ In Mosrniag “I see that Bildad has taken up wearing those heavy, black-rimmed eyeglasses,"” said Dobleigh. ‘‘Hashe trcu- ble with eyes?"’ “No,"’ said Harrington. “His mothe: -law has just died, and he prefers the black-rimmed glasses to a mourning band on his sleeve."” Neutral “Can't ya give a poor old soldier a dime?"* whined the panhandler. ‘‘I just come over from fightin’ fer France, and 1 ain’t gotta cent to my name."" “Sorry, old man,”’ said Dingle- bat, with adeep sigh. ‘‘I’d like to help you out, but in these deli- cate moments I must adhere to our national policy and decline to give aid to belligerents."" —Horace Dodd Gastit Angular Art I never saw a cubist cow, But judge from what I've read, There is no way of telling how It differs from its shed. “Has he any particular per- sonal following?’’ “There are at least a dozen collection agencies after him!"’ Wet Paint, Retiring in Good Order THE village board of strategy had the old codger entirely surrounded and were charging him from all s, and as a result the veteran was ina state of hectic savage: “You will at least acknowledge, squi sarcastically said Sanford Merton, ‘that a sieve has holes in it."’ “Yes,'’ snarled the venerable curmudgeon; ‘‘but not so gosh-darned many as there might be!"" His Slogan “It is hard to keep a good man down!"" “Eh-yah!"" answered J. Fuller Gloom, the well-known mis- anthrope. ‘‘But it is still harder to keep an unscrupulous one down. For instance, the Hon. Bray Lowder, after being slapped flat so often that his normal position is a recumbent one, now rises to demand government ownership of the weather.”’ And Never Will Greeno--This is, verily, an age of substitution. Beano—But they have never yet found a substitute for brains. MOTION PICTURES MADE THE STRIPES DISAPPEAR} like Charity, can Cover a Multitude of Things comicbooks.com