Judge, 1914-10-24 · page 17 of 24
Judge — October 24, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains two unrelated elements: **Left side: "From a Sinner's Diary"** — A humorous essay column using first-person observations about everyday life and minor social embarrassments. The narrator complains about physical features, awkward timing of meals and mail, a gift preacher rejected, and regrets about not confessing feelings to a beautiful woman. It's sentimental social comedy typical of the magazine's humor. **Right side: Schlitz Beer Advertisement** — A commercial promoting brown bottles as superior to light bottles because light bottles allow beer to decay. This appears to be a marketing claim (now understood as dubious) that brown bottles better preserved beer quality. The ad asserts pure beer is "healthful food" while warning against "tainted food." This reflects early 20th-century attitudes treating beer as nutritious rather than alcoholic. The page is primarily advertising, mixing editorial content with commercial promotion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
From a Sinner's Diary "VE HAD the mumps, on both my I father’s and mother’s side. I know a woman who looks as if she needed spraying for San Jose ecale. The new-model men all want to ride around and work up farm sales on a big commission instead of working the farms. I know a girl with a complexion like a cement walk that adog walked across be- fore it hardened. Sometimes I’m sorry my under lip sticks out; then, again, I know a boy who weighs about three hundred, and his under lip lops and flops and slops around to match, If I thought mine was as comic as his, I'd be perfectly suited with it. For awhile after I see him, I never try to hold mine up. The mailcomesthe wrongtime. Either it has to wait or dinner does, Dinner waited to-day. And my pa and uncle hadn't talked for quite a while, but sat on the back porch, with their noses pointed toward the door, waiting to be called. I had bird’s-nest—apples sliced in a basin with dough on. It was an oriole’s nest, I guess. It was tough enough. But my toothless guest stuck to it like a true sol- dier. Yet when he was done he said half of it would have been enough! I bought a fair lady preacher a diary for a Christmas present. She fired it right back! I write such ornery things, she said. Dear me! It’s the only kind I can write. When I get mine full, 1 shall write in that and say, ‘‘The Rev. ——sent me this."” Oh, te he! Like the dog put the cows inthe stable—he’d stand in the door and they’d chase him in! Dear! They brought such a pretty woman here to my graveyard the other day, I picking berries the while. So pretty! A lady-poem from tip totip! (I know ‘em when I see ‘em, if being one isn’t my specialty.) I’ve always loved her, and supposed she knew it; but now I'm not so sure. Why didn’t I go to see herand tell her about it? 1 wouldn't care 80 much if she hadn’t been so heartach- ingly pretty! And there’s left an old, old mother and an invalid daughter, neither of whom they dare tell she’s dead! One of my berry pickers thought she was Pretty, too, and talked about it. The pretty woman told me one time that the berry-picker’s man (he’s here in my graveyard, too) told her to pin a little green bowon her at a masquerade, so he’d know and would be sure to dance with her. She did; but, behold! the room was full of girls with green bows! He'd told ‘em all! Whereupon she snatched hers off and remembered him no more forever. And while we picked, and the ‘Earth to earth’’ was being said, I told her about the green bow. She laughed to distrac- tion and thought her man was always too killing. But why not as well to laugh over green bows as any other way? Only I can't forget how sweet she was, and how she must have ached so much harder among all her misery than a clod could have ached! —Lynette Freemire. Schlitz Brown Bottle Insures Purity Schlitz cannot cause biliousness. It cannot cause stomach or liver trouble. Pure beer is healthful food—decayed food is not healthful. Any beer in light bottles is in danger of decay. No one who values health should risk taking tainted food into the stomach. See that Crown is branded “Schlitz’’ Get That Made Milwaukee Famous. LEGAL NOTICE. Order a Case Today 74MA IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ACT OF CONGRESS, of August 2éth, 1912, the following statement is printed: Judge, published weekly at 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City. James ‘A. Waldron, Editor and Managing Editor, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City. ess Manager, Reuben P. Sleicher, 225 Fifth Avenue, ‘ork City. Publisher, John A. Sleicher, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City, Owner, Leslie-Judge Company, 225 Fitth Avenue, New York City. Stock! holding 2 per cent. or more of total amount of stock. Jobn A. Sleicher, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City; A. N. Brady Estate, 64 Wall Street, New York City. Bondbolders, Mort- gagees and other Security holders, holding 1 per cent. oF more of total amount of ‘oF other securities, John A; Sleicher. 25 Fifth Avenue, New York City: Reuben ed) c RICH CUBAN CIGARS can’t break you, bot they will make you a staunch, permanent customer of French's Cuban Specials. That's why we've cove to extra expense to place this sample box of flve genuine Cuban smokes of the choicest favor and fragrance in your hads at less than cost. Will yoo it for yoarselt—t ? You risk nothing! Send 25¢ orstamps. We pay postage. FRENCH TOBACCO CO., Dept. 42, Statesville, N. C. y: P. Sleicher, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City; City Real tate Company, 176 Broadway, New York City. ( Reuben P. Sleicher, Business Manager. Sworn to and sub- scribed before me this twenty-eighth day of September, 1914. A. Edward Rollaver, Notary Publie, Queens County, cate filed in New York County No, 33, Commission March 30th, 1915. comicbooks.com