Judge — October 17, 1914 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

an ideally happy married man. art of » Bhe's not quite sure of him yet. John (savagely) —Leave it tome! That lobster trimmed me ona horse trade once! Leave it to me!—Boston Globe. Must Be Prepared—Grateful patient— By the way, I sh ould be glad if you would send in your bill soon. . Eminent physician Never mind about that, my dear madam; you must get quite strong first. Philadelphia Record. Sky Effects—‘‘This scenery isn’t what it was,’ complained the artist. “T can’t see no difference,’’ declared the old farmer. ‘*What do you miss?”’ “I'm looking for a cloud like the one I painted last year."’—Pittsburgh Post. Rivalry “[ do not like him!’" murmurs Kate. “Such hangers-on I simply hate!"” Her rival answers with a scoff, “I think you mean such hangers-off !'" —New York Sun. Nothing Like Being Careful—‘‘Shall I pump up the tires, sir?” “Wait until get out into the coun- try, Jacques. I heard a doctor say that the air around here is very impure.’’— Kansas City Journal. Good Reason—‘‘I always tell the waiter what I’m going to tip him.’” “Why?"” “So he won’t keep me waiting half an hour while the cashier splits a ten-dollar bill into dimes.''"—Detroit Free Press. On the Veranda—‘‘I love the bunny hug!” “T don’t know it,’’ said the young man regretfully; ‘tbut I'm a bear at the plain, old-fashioned variety.’” And then the moon considerately with- drew behind a cloud.—Pittsburgh Post. College Humor For the Defense—Judge —And you still claim to be innocent, although six wit- nesses say they saw you commit the crime? Prisoner -Your honor, I can produce six thousand who didn’t see me.—Cornell Widow. The Latest Definition—‘‘ Have you heard the latest definition of a boob?” “No; lead me to it."” “The fellow who cuts in on you when you are dancing the maxixe.’’ — Yale Record. On the Home Track ply great in the re the boy from colle “That's fine, son! We'll make use of them talents. Your ma will soon be ready to relay the carpets.’’—Penn State Froth. “Dad, I was sim- events,’’ boasted Ww Correct — Hi - at course is Sarah studying at that b ling school? Si—I can’t remember, but I think it’s cosmetics. —Stin ford Chaparral. The Remedy ‘‘Bill seems to be afraid to think for himself.’” “Then he'd better get married.’— Princeton Tiger. Light Bottle Is the Weak Link No chain is stronger than its weakest link. No beer in a light bottle is any purer than that bottle keeps it. The light bottle is insufficient pro- tection from light. Light starts decay even in pure beer. Schlitz is made pure, and the Brown Bottle keeps it pure. You are not asked to take any risk of impurity from exposure to light. Schlitz Brown Bottle protects it. See that Crown is branded “‘Schlitz”’ Order a Case Today wee ous. TOWNS Mowing return $5.00 com, Write for Chicago. Meas Danda Leather Key-Purse With Your Name Stemped in Gold By Mail With Pocket 25c Prucd | 'Beakeils 40c Saves the clothing and prevents the keys from rusting. Made of strong leather with Mustrated Catalog of ties foods and Hove DANDA JE. MFG. CO., 82 Jobs New York comicbooks.com