Judge — September 19, 1914 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUZZLE: FIND WHAT IS MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE HAVING thrice rapped for order, without results, Mrs. Buncom- Squint, president of the Helpful Hen- A riettas, shrilled, ‘‘Ladies!"’ Whereupon they soft-pedaled <@ from talk to whisper. necessary to make home fragrant?’ ’’ “TI can't stop talking,”’ snickered Mrs. Gigglever. ‘Somebody just wound me up and put on a four-min- ute record.’* “Goodness!"" ejaculated Mrs. Van Proon. ‘You've talked for thirty years without winding. What will you do now?”” However, admonished by the glares of those around her, Mrs. Gig- gluver did stop. The members were anxious to hear Mrs. Marrimore’s Paper. They hoped that in it she would embody her personal experi- ences, and she had been married three times. “I realize now,’’ began Mrs. Marrimore, ‘‘that I didn’t love my first husband enough. I loved him as one would, say, a second-best gown. He was handy to have in ARS Scene ee eee “If Mrs. Gigglever will please stop talking,’’ said Madam President, ‘‘Mrs. Mar- rimore will read her paper, ‘Which half of the team should do all of the pulling? Or, Should Sal supply the love and Sam the liver and onions Mrs. Marrimore’s Medium By TERRELL LOVE HOLLIDA case of a rainy day. A good fit 80 nice that I couldn’t enjoy my’ fear of spoiling him, I took great com- fort in him, of course. But he him with loving caresses, wrap the pride of my heart, the object of my tendercare. After wearing, I didn’t brush tissue paper, and lay him away with a sachet bag of love upon his bosom.’’ A teur eloquent of her regrets splashed upon the reader’s paper. y and not self for was not him in Do Poe STEW A LA POLYGLOT “* Never mind studyin’ the bill of fare, boss. All we've got is beef stew in seven different languages.”’ “What a neat figure of speech!'’ whispered Mrs, Buncom-Squint. ‘‘Neat?”’ simpered Mrs. Gigglever. ‘Why, her plaquet is unhooked and her bustle is on one hip instead of her diaphragm."’ ‘I kept his nose upon the grindstone,’’ continued Mrs. Marrimore, ‘‘until he had nothing left to talk through except his mouth. that was! his nasal twang. neglecting to vote when he was a candi- date for dog catcher—I failed to show a proper wifely affection. Oh, how thoughtlessly unkind He was patriotically proud of In many ways—such as So, when he passed away, I resolved to do better next time.’" “She doesn’t say how he passed, whether in a box or a boxcar, bound for Reno,’’ breathed Mrs. Waremtite. ‘‘And how did she know there would be a next time?”’ “Maybe Number Two was waiting at the church,’’ gurgled Mrs. Gig- glever. “My second,”’ sorrowfully pro- ceeded Mrs. Marrimore, ‘‘I loved too much. The only pet name he ever called me was ‘Old Sock’—I made him so comfortable. When he had the hives, I scratched his back. If he stayed at the club until two o'clock and came home with a breath that caught fire when he tried to smoke, I swore that I loved ‘club stews.’ Instead of complaining be- comicbooks.com