Judge — September 19, 1914 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

KiNG COPHETUA was one of those antique bores whose fame has come to us in a historic spotlight as a regular professional hero, when it was only by the most skillful sidestepping that he succeeded in escaping the reporters and the big headings that would have left his reputation sadly below zero. ws Like the men about 6. [tb town of his time, he was prone to go about in disguise, wearing a makeup suggesting that he hailed from the rug district of climes Oriental; un- armed, simple, courageous and unafraid, but attended at a short distance by a group of expert gunmen trailing along in a manner supposed to be quite accidental. The Beggar Maid, so called, was a fas- cinating barefoot dancer, who, although picturesquely ragged during her act, wore a thumb ring and a monocle and was generally conceded (off) to be a snappy little dresser. His majesty, in one of his softer moods, sent her an orchid or two; in fact, the bathtub was full of them, and she mistook his platonic regard for the Gladys—That's natural, How Cophetua Kept It Out of the Papers real thing, being a particularly unfortunate guesser. A brother of hers—at least, he said he was—who had trained with Corbett, visited the castle and had a swift, decisive in- terview with the King, which resulted in quick and immediate action. The marriage banns were called from the battle- ments, together with the infor- mation that the unfounded rumors that the bride-to-be would give up her profession demanded emphatic and wide- spread retraction. When she ascended the throne, she was so heavily laden with gems that by young pages on either side she had to be assisted. It was then that Cophetua made his memorable and stagy speech, and raising her jeweled hand, bent his head neatly and kissed it. And thundering down through the years comes the hero talk; fine press agent work, of course, with no mere details its influ- AN IMPROVEMENT Muriel—Katherine thinks her alimony an improvement over her husband. It comes in regularly, and doesn’t smoke or swear, SEEING AMERICA, A. D. 1950 Guide (from observation tower of New York skyscraper) —Through the cloud rift on our left may be seen Pike's Peak and the city of Denver, ence to hamper, for it has become a fad with our millionaires to marry lively, deserving girls, who thither and yon in the glare of the footlights scamper. So history romance and plain lies even at all times accomplish good in their occult, mysterious blending; but again, it may have been big brother's punch that kept a scandal out of the papers and brought it all to such a hap- py and popular ending. —Kate Masterson. On Display O# FAR be it from me to say of the ladies That aught they may wear—or may not—could be shocking; But this [ have noticed: the tighter a skirt is, The longer its slash and the louder the stocking. Metamorphose Guest (departing)—You had better get a horse to take away the bed in my room. Clerk—Why, what can have hap- pened to it? Guest—Well, during the night it be- came a little buggy. comicbooks.com