Judge, 1914-09-19 · page 15 of 24
Judge — September 19, 1914 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **"The Fiancés of Prue"** (poem): A lighthearted joke about a woman named Prue who promises to marry multiple men, then receives "golden chimes" instead of engagement rings—satirizing either female fickleness or men's gullibility in matters of courtship. **"Biography of the Average Man"**: A philosophical essay mocking ordinary life's mundanity—birth, death, and unremarkable days between. It dismisses the average man as historically invisible, contrasting him with celebrated "geniuses" who capture historians' attention. **Three brief humor pieces** ("Her Lack of Reverence," "Sure," "Overheard"): Quick jokes about disrespect toward authority figures and marital dynamics. **"The Reincarnation of Gulliver"** (illustration): The large photograph shows a figure suspended in a net, apparently referencing Jonathan Swift's *Gulliver's Travels*—likely satirizing someone as absurdly out-of-proportion to modern life, though the specific target is unclear. The overall tone emphasizes ordinary people's skepticism toward pretense and authority.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GERMAN SILVER SPOONS The Fiances of Prue By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS HE PROMISED Sid, she promised Ned, She promised Sam and Jim; She promised Harry, Tom and Ted, Each one she’d marry him. She promised Marma- duke and Bill; She promised George and Paul, She'd wed him with a right good will When came the days of fall. The happy swains in ecstasy, When each the truth he knew, Got up a Prudence Company To see the matter through; And ‘stead of an engagement ring These heroes of my rhymes Gave her of whom my verses sing A set of golden chimes— Which rung for each, and rung for all, Against the coming of the fall. Biography of the Average Man N THE life of the average man, there are two dates worthy of being re- corded. One is written with brown ink in the family Bible. The other will one day be carved on a white slab in a ceme- tery. In all the space between, one day is as another, except that some days he has pie for dinner. One night is as an- other, except that some nights he has the toothache. The average man has measles, mumps, amethod and a mother-in-law. The aver- age man has a book to read or a game to play and baby hands to soil his collar. For the average man, life’s account of - joys and sorrows balances at the end. The average man is never a pouter pigeon because of great achievements, never a plucked peacock because of deadening disappointments. The average man comes into the world with nothing and goes out with the same or less. He is too busy to be dissatisfied, for he has his work to do and his ease to take. He fights (when he can't help it) and makes love (when he can). So he builds history, which is a com- posite of biographies. At least Carlyle says it is, and disputing the word of that crabbed old uncle of humanity has never been a particularly safe occupation. Thus the story of the world, its work and its wars, is the biography of the average man, The life of the super-average man, commonly called a genius, merely fur- nishes a spotlight hero about whom the historical romancer may weave his tale. Dison Merritt. Her Lack of Reverence e« AND so the Senator shook hands with the waitress with all his stately courtesy ?’’ “Yep,” replied the landlord of the Pruntytown tavern. ‘‘And she asked me if I reckoned the old fool thought he could make a mash on her.’’ Sure “That barn door’s nearly off its hinge,’ Yawned lazy Tommy Young. “We'll let it fall and kill some one, And then it will be hung.’” Margaret G. Hays Overheard “Tinker has placed an old railroad sign, ‘Stop, look and listen!’ at the entrance to his driveway.” ‘What's the idea?” “His wife is running the touring car.’’ THE KEINCARNATION OF GULLIVER “Marry! A rare specimen, methinks comicbooks.com