Judge, 1914-09-12 · page 15 of 24
Judge — September 12, 1914 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The left cartoon satirizes fraternal organizations popular in early 20th-century America. A man ("Joiner") is so laden with emblems and charms from secret societies (Masons, Odd Fellows, etc.) that he literally rattles when walking. The joke mocks men who accumulated multiple memberships and proudly displayed their pins and badges—treating it as pretentious or excessive. The title reference to "sounding brass and tinkling symbols" is biblical, suggesting hollow ostentation. The "War Bulletins" section parodies war reporting from World War I (1914). It's absurdist satire: the dispatches contain obvious fabrications and jokes (Venice removing water from the Grand Canal, a submarine labeled "H₂O," a professor arrested for having Russian dressing on salad). The disclaimer warns readers these reports are "probably slightly colored"—a tongue-in-cheek admission that actual wartime press censorship made all news suspect and likely propagandistic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
who yesterday went out in forty-one ona par seventy-eight golf course and came home in thirty-fiv “You went out at five o'clock in the morning, John, and I never knew when you came home. “You're a little shy on technicalities, my ‘Coming home’ is a golf expression."" It’s coming to be very technical around here, John. Do you know what I've a good mind to do?"”” “What? You're not going to do anything rash, my dear!"" “No. But I'm going to do something that'll surprise you. I've decided not tell to you what.'” “Allright. I must be going. See that streak of sunlight?” And Niblick was off to his game. Mrs. Niblick confided her scheme to some of her women She loved her husband and would save him to his do- mestic circle. She would secretly learn golf until she could beat him at his own game or try desperately to do it. If she could humiliate him, he'd stop playing. “Some day, when you feel you have the time, John,"’ she said tohim not long afterward, ‘‘l should dearly like to have you teach me golf. We could have a lot of fun at it together, couldn't we “We could after you became expert, Jane,’’ he replied. “Come with me to-day and I'll give you a lesson, You can use my clubs. That is a concession, though you don’t know it." “But | have some of my own, dear.’’ And she trotted out her equipment, after she had dressed in some of it, and Niblick gasped. He also looked curiously at her bag. “Secondhand stuff?" “Oh, no! I’ve used 'em a bit.” Once at the course, Mrs. Niblick made John gasp as long as he remained in her vicinit Her putting was deadly. She twice made a hole in one. Her driving was something to look at with binoculars. Her all-round play bad the experts gasp- ing. Finishing in fine form, she went back to comfort Niblick on his way ‘thome."* On the real way home Niblick was very thoughtful and chary of specific conversation. ‘‘I say, Jane,’’ he finally ventured, “if you really want me to, 'II—I'll give up golf."” “Give up golf? Why, John, what a fool you are!" Music Wherever He Goes “Joincr’s so loaded down with secret-society charms and emblems that he rattles when he walk: “Exactly! Case of sounding brass and tinkling symbols.’’ A om J) friends. THE COLOR BEARER WAR BULLETINS From the Special Correspondent of JUDGE and the Majes Herring (Finnish). Copyright, 1914, by the Guess Publishing Co. dispatches to JUDGE. Because of the strict censorship over all press dispatches and the further fact that all news comes via Africa, it is probably slightly colored. Special CAUTION: VENICE, Sept. 12.—Adriatic fishermen have re- ported a mobilization of the Venetian Mounted Police. They also state that the taximeters have been removed from all gondolas and that the water has been let out of the Grand Canal. MARTINIQUE, Sept. 12.—Mr. Isaac O'Sullivan, the Irish ambassador to Martinique, has been handed his passports. Mr. O'Sullivan left for Vera Cruz on the Mexican super-dreadnought, Mafana. BELGRADE, Sept. 12.—The Servian submarine, H,0, engayed the Swiss cruiser, St. Moritz, off the coast of Belgrade, but without serious damage beyond killing the cook of the Wabble, of the Swiss-American Line, which lay in the offing —that the liner lay in the offing —not the line. BERLIN, Sept. 12.—Professor Heinrich Karl von Sauerbraten, regent professor of history in the Univer- sity of Weisnicht, was arrested while dining last night at the Tiergarten. The fact that the professor had Russian dressing on his salad and that two cans of As- trakhan caviar were discovered among the papers in his room seemed to justify the suspicion that he was a spy. BRUSSELS, Sept. 12.--A bandof Ublans were sur- prised in a truck garden and completely annihilated. They were evidently famished, as they were eating raw turnips when discovered. . . A corrected version of the above states that the dis- patcher made a mistake. The word ‘*Uhlans’’ should have read ‘‘ewe lamb Of course this alters the case; there is really nothing surprising in the fact that ewe lambs were eating raw turnips. Had they been eating cooked turnips, it would have been a notable discovery. NEW YORK, Sept. 12.—Achille Camembert de Brie, of the French reserve, while on his way to Pier 13, was run down by a motor car, and, although suffering great pain, refused to enter the umbulance of the German Hospital. It is said he will be decorated with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. —Maurice Switzer. Hadn't Sorted His Hand RETURNING from a poker party just at the time the early birds and worms were pulling off their famous stunt, Brown was run over by a joy-ride motor car. ‘‘I got the number,"’ he told the attorney who visited him at the hospital. ‘‘It was sixes and fives, with a deuce to discard, but I can’t remem- ber just how they were arranged."’ The Brigand Pullman porter—Boss, yo’ sho’ am dusty. Passenger (resignedly)—-Well, you may brush off about a nickel’s worth, comicbooks.com