Judge — September 5, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

From a Sinner’s Diary KNOW a woman who saves work. She I saves it for other people todo, Least- ways, that’s what little sister says about mal I know about banks is that one day I deposited $25 and drew it the next. I know a man who'll go lots farther to have a row than to dodge one. I think Fuse and Sisal would be a comic name fora team. Mine are Loco and Hot Tamale. Brother is the kind of a fellow who, if you offer to shut the shed doors when he starts off with his auto, wants you to water the horses and feed 'em hay and grain and clean the stables and bed ’em down. You're lucky if you're even wanting anything. It shows your motor has not gone dead. I know a woman who always commences a job both ends in the middle. Lobject to being cast into outer dark- ness for showing the symptoms by some- body I know has the disease. Drat a one-handed cornplanter! I'd as soon pitch hay one-handed. They make me ache like a dozen places. When I get so I can hit the hill part of the time with one hand, I change to the other and prac- tice. It carries easier when it’s empty, so I plant awhile after the corn is out every time before I reload. Mind your nest eggs—for there's never any eggs in the nest where the first hen won't go on. Little sister is teasing for a piano, and to-day I saw brother had her out slinging wood away from the buzz saw. It looked tome as if he was trying to nip off two or three fingers. That would end the piano arguments, Whether you can or not, you've got to. We're all bound for Somewhere, with no return ticket. And I don’t know as I want one. Do you? Once’ll do me. When brother looks for four-leaf clo- vers, he finds new hens’ nests. When I look for nests, I can’t find anything but clovers. They fairly trip me up. I wonder if it ain’t fun to come up noons and find dinner all ready, with maybe milk gravy or something I hadn’t figured on? I'd about as soon lose my cat as little sister. —Lynette Preemire. A Local Admonition In a French table d’hote in New York, where there had been a fight a few nights before, the following was at once posted in large type: The War Will Be Settled Abroad | Please Do Not Start Anything Here An enterprising concern has printed these placards in large quantities and is selling them to the restaurants frequented by persons of various nationalities now at swords’ points abroad. GREAT REAR SPRING WATER. te Hurity has made it famous” We the ease of air glass etoppered bottles, [ADVT.) 9.2% Places served by two companies, VERY dot on the map marks a town where there is a telephone exchange, the same sized dot being used for a large city as for a small village. Some of these exchanges are owned by the Associated Bell companies and some by independent companies. Where joined together in one system they meet the needs of each community and, with their suburban lines, reach 70,000 places and over 8,000,000 subscribers. The pyramids show that only a minority of the exchanges are Bell-owned, and that the greater majority of the exchanges are owned by independent companies and connected with the Bell System. At comparatively few points are there two telephone companies, and there are comparatively few exchanges, chiefly rural, which do not have outside connections. The recent agreement between the Attorney General of the United States and the Bell System will facilitate connections between all telephone subscribers regard- less of who owns the exchanges. Over 8,000 different telephone companies have already connected their exchanges to provide universal service for the whole country. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One Policy One System Universal Service FOR INFORMATION WRITE TO Following KEELEY INSTITUTES: John Barleycorn’s Master Our scientific treatment removes the appetite for drink or drugs—does not nauseate. Only registered physicians are permitted to administer the remedi our authorized insti During the last ears, half a million have been successfully treated. comicbooks.com