Judge, 1914-08-29 · page 17 of 24
Judge — August 29, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon shows a minister asking a parishioner named John if he uses profanity. John stammers nervously, and the minister's response reveals the joke's hypocrisy: he instructs John to go settle a plumber's bill *pretending it's John's own debt*—essentially asking John to commit fraud on his behalf. The satire targets clergy hypocrisy and moral double standards: the minister condemns John's language while casually requesting dishonesty. The page also includes light humorous pieces: "Ole as a Latin Student" mocks immigrant speech patterns through a father's dialect as he describes his son's botched Latin translation ("unfurled his legs" for a general's stretched body), and "The Chink in His Armor" catalogs a man immune to various consumer temptations until movies captivated him—satire on cinema's emerging cultural grip.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
amy tem) orc WANTS A PROXY Minister—Jobn, you use profanity, do you not ? John—Bat, sir, I—I— Minister—Go down and settle this plumbers bill for me, and pretend it’s your own. Just to Judge By ROBERT C. McELRAVY ARBINGER ever of laughter, Purveyor always of wit, Here’s to you, now and hereafter— Yell master, tune up a bit! Rise, every A. P. H. fel- low! Set up some glorious song, Alternate loud notes and mellow, Show that you’re glad you belong! Robert C. McElracy, a. 9.4. Jesters from ocean to ocean, Cap-and-bell artists for fair, In handing to JupDGE your devotion, Rip off the roof—don't you care! Ole as a Latin Student By WILL J. JOHNSON MY BOY Ole he go on de high school diss jear from de grade school, an he already got de teachers guessing ved- der he be yust a : Yenyooineshump or a budding hu- morist. Vid de eidee of hiss learning how to trow de Englis langvidge roun better dan I do, he take up Latin mung hiss udder studies, so he vould learn vare lots of de Englis vurds coam from; W. J. Johnson, a, 9, ». but it seem like hé kine of foosle hiss ap- proach in making hiss translations. For écksample, de udder day he have to translation bout a Greek or Roman yenral who ‘‘stretched hiss limbs on de seashore’ after he yump off a ship after along sea woy- age; an ven Ole read hiss trans- lation out loud bout how diss tired yenral trode hisself down at full lengt an ‘‘un- furled hiss legs on de sand- bank’’an break up de class for de time being, de teacher re- foosed to even give him de benefit of de doubt bout hiss being a normal shile, but clas- sificationed him right off de reel asa vould-be hu- moristan gived him de licking of hiss jung life up to dat hour. The spark plug of a mo- tor is not the only thing that is given to sparking in a car. The Chink in His Armor By ARTHUR CHAPMAN HE NEVER had the fever To buy a phonograph; He never blew his coin into Editions bound in calf; Heneverplunged in kodaks— He hates the postal card; But the picture screen, ‘tis easy seen, Has caught him passing hard. Arthur Chapman. a. 9.4. He never fell for etchings; He has few rare old prints; He puts no cash into the flash Of jewels of all tints; In fact, no fad had floored him Till movies came along; But he’ll miss a meal to see a reel— The pictures have him strong. He never paid his money To broil on bleacher seat; He never raged, like lion caged, Because the strangers beat; The baseball germ has found him Immune through all the years; But he can name each star of fame When that star’s face appears. PUZZLE PICTURE—FIND THE DRIVER comicbooks.com