Judge, 1914-08-15 · page 19 of 24
Judge — August 15, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short satirical pieces mocking contemporary American politics and society, plus a beer advertisement. The "Snap Judgments" section ridicules voting irregularities (a deceased Georgian elected to office), French aristocratic pretensions (taxing titles like art exports), Texas's exaggerated climate claims, and New Jersey's new rooster licensing law. A theatrical piece critiques congressional indifference to chorus girls' poor working conditions. The closing anecdote mocks bureaucratic absurdity: a clerk asks to keep a government book beyond its five-day return deadline, but the department official misinterprets the request as literal—treating the frank's "Return in 5 days" instruction as binding even on the recipient. The dominant advertisement promotes **Schlitz beer in brown bottles**, claiming light damages beer's chemical properties while brown glass preserves quality. This reflects early 20th-century beer marketing emphasizing purity and modern scientific preservation—concerns that seem quaint today but reflected genuine contemporary anxieties about food safety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Snap Judgments Looking Forward Two thousand voters in Georgia re- cently elected & man named Mosley to membership on the Bibb County Demo- mtie executive committee. Mr. Mosley had been dead ten years. Talk about foresight! Rank and Ranker To get square with the United States, where some one recently suggested the taxation of American girls who marry titled foreigners, Frenchmen are now pro- posing an export tax on titles, the idea being that a title should rank with an old master. Some of those French titles are pach ranker. Patronize Home Indastry Texas has been advertising that she has fifty-seven varieties of climate. The gentleman from Dallas who asked to have the steam heat turned on in the Biltmore Hotel, in New York, on the Fourth of Jaly, is of the opinion that the Lone Star press agent will have to change his copy in the local papers. Get Ost Your Badges Nobody in the city limits of Pass: New Jersey, can now keep a roost Jess he pays fifty cents for a li the local board of health. Those ‘*Chicken Inspector’? badges that have been selling around New York will come in handy to Passaic commuters. By the way, isn’t this a good opportunity for the Wizard of Menlo Park to invent a noiseless rooster? The Theatrical Sweatshop It is rumored on the Rialto that the Congressional Industrial Commission will come to New York and institute a search- ing inquiry into theatrical conditions gen- erally and the stage particularly. The Chorus Ladies’ Union is no doubt behind the movement. It must be rather diffi- elt for a showgirl to maintain a motor car, amaid and a suite of roomson fifteen per. It is about time that this over- worked and underpaid class of labor should receive congressional consideration. An Old Friend Daniel Vaughn, publication clerk of the Department of Commerce, says that a Cticago man wrote to his department for scopy of.a book entitled ‘‘The Commerce and Navigation of the United States.” It was sent under the frank of the de- partment, which bore the usual notice in one corner, ‘‘Penalty for private use, $300""; and in the other corner, ‘‘Depart- ment of Commerce, Washington, D. C. Return in 5 days.’’ The man wrote the Gepartment that he had been sitting up nights trying to read the 1,400-page pub- lication in the allotted five days, but had been unable to do so, and asked permis- sion to keep the book three days longer. This is the same man, doubtlessly, who reeived a letter terminating his serv! Avweek later he reported for work. His ‘stonished ex-employer asked him if he didn’t get the letter. ‘Sure I did,” re- Plied the man; ‘‘but on the envelope it said, ‘Return in 5 days.’ ’” —Maurice Switzer. gretizing and hy Sea in'stamos Z ie oN ~ Be on the Safe Side Decay in any food will cause stomach and liver ailments and a tired, heavy-headed feeling. Beer is: food, a saccharine product. Light disturbs its chemical properties causing decay. . Beer in light bottles is—??? Schlitz is made pure and brewed in the dark—the Brown Bottle keeps it pure until it is poured into your glass, sparkling and clear as crystal. ot in Brown Bottles e See that Crown is branded “Schlitz” Order a Case TheBeer “” .. That Made Milwaukee Famous. ROMEIKE’ Press Cutting Bureau will send you ail newspaper clip- pings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be ‘up to date.” Every newspaper and peri- Si very trap apes odical of importance in the United States and Europe _ a Sigwed] Frederick LaDetie, is searched. “Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. TWO REASONS why you should advertise in HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N.Y, THE MAGAZINE OF FUN my eae GEMS For rates and further information, address MAE EEN ot AZINE OF FUN Stand acid and fire diamond test. _THE MAGAZINE OF FUN, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York So hard they casily scratch a fle and will cut glass, Brilliancy guaran- teed 25years. Mounted in 14k solid gold diamond mountings. See them before pay> Ing. Will eond yoo any style ring. pin or stod for Qxamination — all charges No mi “In advance, Money refunded if not satlafactory. Write today for free catalog, WHITE VALLEY GEM CO., 773 Walsin Bidg., comicbooks.com