Judge — August 15, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Revised Version By ROY 0. RANDALL ND BEHOLD, in the night- RY GL ASS understanding, tumeth down the SLB street that is not called Straight y and listeneth to the voice of sirens. And when the dawn dawneth, be- hold, he hath lost much goods and hath a head of heaviness. ‘*Veri- ly,"’ quoth he, *‘this is not the life.’” And, lo! at the corner he encountereth a friend, Esthete, who laugheth much at him who tarrieth until the milk and bread wagons have ceased their rounds. And Esthete upbraideth him for a fool and telleth him to seek high adventure, romance, intrigue, and to flee forever those who are wanton only for the shekel’s sake. And when he is himself again, the youth seeketh the half-innocent one, with lips sweeter than honey and eyes that challengeth to a race. She seeketh not gold nor silver directly, but craveth baby lobster, the sparkling juice of the grape, and she wists not that the taximeter grindeth while they wait. And when the night is done and the sun brighteneth the misty — + Bobby and I are going to be married in a few minutes, aunty, so I borrowed your ways, the youth counteth the farthings in his purse, skirt and hat, and he’s out there growing a mustache.’ = and they are nought—or almost. ‘‘Verily,’’ he an- swereth and saith unto himself, ‘‘thou art one large boob!” And within the gates of the city he beholdeth a venerable man, yclept Moralist. And he speaketh un- to him, saying, ‘‘Master, which way shall I go to find the path that is neither sordid nor silly?’ “Take unto thyself a wife,’’ saith the sage, and passeth by on the other side. And it cometh to pass that when his purse is again swollen with his wage, the youth goeth forth and in an arbor beholdeth a maiden with quiet eyes and mod- est attire. And he greeteth her. And in the time of gleaning they hiketh to the high priest, who marri- eth them, And she ruleth his house with surety of hand. She biddeth him sit nigh unto the furnace when he desir- eth to smoke. She playeth bridge unto the morning with the thirty talents he would have tendered the landlord. She inviteth to her house many who to him are anathema maranatha. And then some. Selah, In the end he riseth against her and dodgeth the rolling pin which she hurleth. Wherewith he is peeved and goeth forth seeking papers of divorcement. And when the judge hath heard him, he sayeth, ‘Take them and depart in peace."” And the youth, who is now an old goat, goeth into the wilderness and buildeth him an hut with one window, which he kicketh out when the spirit moveth him, for there is none to say him nay. And as the rains end and beat upon the hut, in the bleak and dark night, he sayeth unto himself, with 1auch vain repetition, even as the heathen do likewise, “What's the answer?’ And the wind, blowing where it listeth, vouchsafeth no articulate reply. “Young Sparks is going to put on non-skids and keep on the straight and nar- _ tow road in future. He's engaged to that rich runabout over there."” . - ; ‘ fe The time has now arrived when the tired vacation- “The one with the long underslung chassis ?"* . i “No; the heavily upholstered one with the big overhang." ist returns to town well tanned but without a tanner. comicbooks.com