Judge, 1914-08-01 · page 14 of 24
Judge — August 1, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple satirical short pieces mocking contemporary politics and social hypocrisy: **"Old Stuff"** ridicules the Kaiser's claimed illness at Archduke Franz Ferdinand's funeral as "diplomatically ill"—a transparent excuse. The satire equates this transparent lie with everyday American excuses (avoiding rent collectors, avoiding wives). **"A Rare Gift"** attacks Representative Heflin (Alabama, anti-suffrage) through backhanded praise, suggesting his verbose, empty speech qualifies him only for a cushy diplomatic post. **"Why Not?"** mocks General Robert K. Evans for calling America "meddlesome," then asking the President what he meant—implying the President himself is the source of meddling. References the "Ananias Club" (a real satire group named for biblical liars). **The Frank Godwin cartoon** shows a man claiming he believed in "everlasting life" until buying a car with a guarantee—suggesting the guarantee is worthless, a running joke about automobile reliability in this era. Other pieces satirize gender double standards and modern social changes around women's behavior and reputation.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Snap Judgments Old Stuff T WAS given out recently that the Kaiser did not attend the funeral of the Archduke Francis Ferdinand because he was ill. Diligent inquiry disclosed the fact that H. I. M. for personal reasons preferred to stay at home; that he was not really indisposed, but ‘‘diplomatically ill.’’ There is nothing new about the disease. We have been diplomatically ill several times when the rent collector called, and once when our betterhalf wanted us to spend a week-end with her at the seashore, she having already gone there. Whenever the Giants play at the Polo Grounds, most of the office boys are diplomatically illall afternoon. Old stuff, William! A Rare Gift Representative Heflin, of Alabama, re- cently made a stirring speech in the House, in which he championed the cause of the antis. Representative Humphrey, of Washington, who stands for woman suffrage, characterized the masterly ora- tion of the gentleman from Alabama as “rich in redundancy, magnificent in in- flated pomposity, and unmarred by a si gle thought.’ We want tosay right here that any man who can make that kind of a speech is wasting his time in Congress, If Mr. Heflin is @ poor man, we are unan- AND THE REGIMENT CALLS HIM “DAREDEVIL. JON! imously in favor of starting a public sub- scription to maintain him in fitting style in some high diplomatic post. The court of St. James’s is not above his abilities. Why Not? Brigadier-General Robert K. Evans is reported to have remarked recently at a NO LONGER “Ob co'se ya" believes in everlasting life, Jim ?"’ “No; but I did ‘till I bought a car, with that guarantee,"’ public dinner that the United States was the most meddlesome nation in the world, “‘Whaddye mean, meddlesome?"’ asked the President. “Twas juoted,’’ replied the general. This suggests a bright idea. The Ana- nias Club, since the return of the colonel, is not only filled, but has a long waiting list. Why not organize a Society for the Misquoted, to take care of the distin- suished overflow from the Ananias Asso- ciation? Mitigating Circumstances A New York magistrate recently dis- charged a woman who had been arrested for a trivial offense when he found out that she was the mother of twenty chil- dren, saying that her violation of the law was nothing compared to her service to humanity. And yet if a man attempts to espouse two wives, he gets arrested for bigamy and goes to jail, extenuating cir- cumstances or worthy motives to the con- trary notwithstanding. Something should be done about this.—Maurice Switzer. Time's Changes The woman who only the other day Was shunned for being fast Is worshiped now in book and play, Because she has a past. Possibly He—Ah, darling, I could not live with- out you! She—Why, that’s just what papa says! comicbooks.com