Judge, 1914-07-18 · page 8 of 24
Judge — July 18, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satire typical of early 20th-century humor: **"That New House"** (bottom left cartoon): A newlywed couple's domestic squabble—she's fussing over furniture placement while he seeks practical input. The satire mocks newly married couples' differing priorities in establishing a household. **Main story** (top and middle): An office manager (Cussem) fires his male employee (J. Murgatroyd) for supposedly "corrupting" his stenographer (Estelle) by encouraging her to take a honeymoon. The boss then finances their European trip himself while planning one for his own wife. The satire targets employer paternalism and the contradiction between controlling workers' personal lives while claiming benevolence—typical Progressive-era workplace critiques. **"A Backyard Ballade"** (right): A melancholic poem about a lonely man observing women's lingerie hanging on a clothesline, finding it erotically stimulating until he realizes actual people wear it. The satire mocks romantic idealization versus reality, a common literary theme. All three pieces address domestic and workplace relationships with gentle mockery of their absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
finally, ‘‘what do you mean by deliberately disorganizing the efficiency of this office? Do you consider it honest to rob me of the only stenographer I haye ever,had who could handle my work in an intelligent manner?”’ Murgy essayed an answer, but the big boss cut him off. ‘“‘There’s gratitude for you!’’ he roared. ‘I brought you into this business and taught you the ropes from A to Izzard, and you repay me by putting nonense into this young lady’s head. How in the dickens do you think I am going to run this business without a stenographer?’’ “There are plenty of stenographers to be had,’’ ventured J. Murgatroyd. “Oh, there are, are there?’ cried Cussem. ‘‘If that is the case, you had better advertise for one. And, while you are about it, you had better advertise for a homely man to fill that job you’ve been holding down.” “‘But—but’’—gasped J. Murgatroyd. “Don’t butt,’ growled Cussem. ‘‘Do as I tell you. We might as well have a new bookkeeper to keep the new stenog- rapher company. You're fired!’’ “Oh, Mr. Cussem!’’ ventured Estelle appealingly. “Tut, tut, my dear young lady,’’ said Cussem reassuringly, “there is no cause for alarm. When a man takes a wedding trip, he should have lots of leisure and not be burdened with a job. The pair of you are going to take a trip across the big ditch, and I am going to finance the joy jaunt. When you get back, if you can spare J. M., send him around to take up his duties as junior member and general manager of Cussem & Co., and then I'll spring a surprise on my own good lady by bundling her off on a trip to Europe. She’s been hankering for it for years."’ Don’t try to cultivate orange blossoms in a business office, THAT NEW HOUSE “* Now listen, Henry, it's most important. Would you put the sideboard here or over there ?’” ba HER EXPEDIENT Mr. Neawlyawed—Did you sew the button on my coat, darling? Mrs, Newlywed—No, love. I couldn't find the button, and so I just sewed up the buttonbale. Therese. Put forth every effort to cultivating business, and some day you may discover that some one has Burbanked the prosaic plant. copies, please. Did you get it all down? Make two carbon A Backyard Ballade A GRAY expanse of weathered wall I view from my lone window seat, Whose other windows, one and all, So empty, lifeless and effete, Above a yard burnt up with heat, Fill me with fancies saturnine— When something makes my gloom re- treat— White lingeric upon a line! Light, laughing laces flirt and fall, And stockings, wind-filled to the feet, Dance tangoes at an airy ball To music that the breezes beat. Oh, swirling skirts so indiscreet, You dance away black moods of mine! Encore, oh, hurricane, I entreat, This lingerie upon a line! Oh, dance, from dawn to evenfall, Wind-woman, zephyr-souled and sweet! What sarabands are at your call? Where did you learn that ballet suite? Yours is an art of the elite, Oh, silken, swinging columbine, Abstracted of all sex conceit— Just lingerie upon a line! L’ENVOL But disillusion comes complete— When something surely masculine Is added to that silken cheat Of lingerie upon a line! J. H. Greene. comicbooks.com — TES LEE