Judge, 1914-07-18 · page 19 of 24
Judge — July 18, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: a baseball anecdote and a beer advertisement. **"About Diamond Stars"** features Clark Griffith, manager of the Washington Senators, telling humorous stories about baseball players and musicians. The jokes rely on exaggeration and misunderstanding—Texas fans wildly misjudging base distances, a drum player admitting he's drowning out bad music. These are light, character-driven humor typical of early 20th-century sports journalism. **The main advertisement** promotes Schlitz beer in brown bottles, using the "weakest link" metaphor to argue that light bottles expose beer to harmful light, causing decay. The brown bottle allegedly provides superior protection. This reflects genuine 1920s beer industry concerns about light exposure degrading product quality—a real technical advantage before modern refrigeration and stabilization. The page also includes small advertisements for sales positions and a "Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massage Machine," typical period hustles and patent remedies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
About Diamond Stars By ED A. GOEWEY Clark Griffith = J © Manager o) } Washington A. L. CLARK GRIFFITH, the man who took charge of the Washington Senators ata time when they were known as the “perpetual cellar champs’? and made them one of the niftiest bunches of ball tossers in the American League, is a crackerjack teller of baseball yarns. Here are a couple of his latest stories: One day recently several fans were dis- cussing the world’s base-stealing record attained by Jimmy Johnston, the fleet San Francisco outfielder,. now with the Chi- cago Cubs. Last season Johnston stole 118 bases in the Pacific Coast League, beating the mark of 116 set by Hap Myers when with the Spokane club of the Northwestern League in 1912, and these great performances were being di- lated upon at length, when two outsiders “butted”? into the conversation, and after proclaiming themselves from Texas, be- gan to belittle Johnston’s performances. “Oh, I know something about what hap- pens to those boys who think they’re mighty smart when they go to the ma- jors,"” remarked one. ‘‘Why, Johnston won't be such a great stealer up there, “cause the bases are five feet farther apart.’” “Ho, ho!’’ laughed his companion, ridi- culing such ignorance. ‘‘Five feet far- ther? Humph! They’re eight feet far- ther, if I know anything!” “Weil, I knew it was something like that,’ said the chap who had been made out a boob. At the opening of the season at Wash- ington this year, there was the customary celebration, in which a band played a Prominent part. Walter Johnson hap- pened to stroll over near the man who was strenuously beating the bass drum. “Pardon me for speaking plainly,’’ re- marked the great twirler, ‘‘but you don’t make very good music with that instru- ment.’” “No, I know I don’t,” the prompt reply of the drum artist; ‘but you must give me credit for drowning a whole lot of bad music.’” BCS, Radtioocee, Ma Light Bottle Is the No chain is stronger than its weakest link. No beer in a light bottle is any purer than that bottle keeps it. The light bottle is insufficient pro- tection from light. Light starts decay even in pure beer. Schlitz ismade pure, and the Brown Bottle keeps it pure. You are not asked to take any risk of impurity from exposure to light. Schlitz Brown Bottle protects it. See that Crown is branded “‘Schlitz” Order a Case Today AGENTS GENERAL AGENTS ROAD MEN STOP A MINUTE REA DROP THE DEAD ONES. AWAKE! START WITH THIS NEW INVENTION. THE 20th CENTURY WONDER. Get started In an honest, clean, reliable, permanent, money-making ‘back guarantee. The Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massage Machine AGENTS SALESMAN MAKE MONEY HERE START NOW —TODAY comicbooks.com