Judge — July 4, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Observations of a Country Couple By GALLY AND LAMBERT A Flash of Yellow THERE was the usual crowd on the busy avenue, the usual jostling in the mad rush to get somewhere before something happened. The human metro- politan machinery was wound up for the day, the thought of its ever stopping quite preposterous, when, lo! out of an open window fluttered a little yellow canary! The flash of gold caught the eye of an observer, and he paused to watch it circle tentatively over the bedding upon the fire escape. Satisfied with the genu- ineness of the freedom and the condition of his wings, the tiny songster essayed a further flight into the big, big world. “Right down to the car track he flew and perched serenely. The motorman brought the oncoming car to a stop with a jolt, newspapers dropped neglected, there was the usual feminine shriek, and the thought flashed, ‘‘Was there a baby upon the track?’ Instantly the passing throng, that but a moment before nothing apparently could have turned from the swift completion of their appointed duty, gathered breath- lessly to watch the high hat of the banker vie with the beggar’s cap in front of the trolley to rescue the fugitive, while the owners brushed shoulders and laughed like schoolboys, It was a merry chase and evidently quite to the canary’s liking. The saucy head was thrown back and one eye roguishly cocked seemed to say to the banker, ‘‘Don't bother about me; I'm all right. The one to help is the beg- gar."” The messenger boy and the washwoman with her bundle jockeyed for places, while my lady exchanged confidences with the bootblack about ca- naries, and the big policeman looked on with a genial smile. The bit of yellow had stirred the dormant brotherhood in the hearts of all of them. Personally satisfied at last that the wheels of the great metropolitan rush system could stop without anything happening, the canary flew off over the elevated to conduct the experiment elsewhere, his parting roundelay seeming to say, ‘‘Oh, heavens! what fare you all so concerned about? I only did it to give you a chance to rest.’ Connvbial Comments WHEN SHE GROWS UP Nurse—Why, Bobby, you selfish little boy! Why didn’t you give your sister a piece of your apple ? Bobby—I gave her the seeds. She can plant 'em and have OTS OF women stick their husbands for pin money. Advice to newlyweds: Home isn’t built in a day. Sometimes the complications of a tri- angle produce a wreck-tangle. Seldom is the henpecked husband the cock of the walk. When a woman has a scene with her husband, she usually ends by making a show of herself. The overworked wife sometimes won- ders if the silent watches of the night WHY THE LIMITED WAS LATE a whole orchard, have anything to do with the daybreak alarm clock. To the worried wife: Be cheerful. Even if your husband is on his last legs, he still has his feet to stand on. A wife may think her husband above criticism, but that doesn’t prevent her from holding him under suspicion. A husband can’t help but feel that his wife is like a chameleon—she can be white with anger, scarlet with embar- rassment, green with envy—and red with rouge. —Don Bregenser. The Sure Proof “The Fourth of July,’’ said Colonel Beanfugle, ‘‘can hardly be regarded a3 completely safe and sane until the house dog quits crawling under the bed on that date.’’ Ever Present Though fireworks forbidden are, So many yet in use we find. Oh, how I wish there were a bar Against those of the verbal kind! Kidlike Mrs, Crabshaw—You seem to have become resigned to Freddie’s going in swimming. Mrs. Cobwigger—You see, dear, it’s about the only way I can get him to wash his face. oS comicbooks.com