Judge — June 13, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

As Seca on the Golf Course STRANGELY garbed old man staggered onto the golf course with lantern in hand. It was Diogenes, who mumbled, ‘Il wonder if I shall find him here?” Wandering about, he lis- tened. This heard: **{ made the hole in five,’’ said the fat man, “You took six,’’ replied the lean man. “Two drives and four to get in. The hole is mine in five strokes.’’ “I made the first nine in forty-five,” said the man in spotted leggins. “‘My card says you made it in forty- seven, while my score was forty-four,”’ said the man in white flannel trousers, “You scraped your ball from a divot hole,’’ charged the bareheaded man. ‘‘I saw you drag your brassie over the ball when you did it.’’ “An accident like that don’t count in a friendly game,”’ replied the opponent. “You pushed the ball when you holed out,”’ said the man with checkered cap. “Don't worry about my pushing. Watch your own strokes,’’ replied the oppo- nent. “Hey, there! You have no right to lift the ball be- tween the tee and the hole!"’ screamed a man in sleeveless shirt, when his opponent lifted the ball out of a gash in the turf and placed it on an eleva- tion. “Gwan! Haven't I got a right to see if the ball is mine before I hit it? See the big B?_ It was hid on the lower side when I raised it,’* replied the man in a red sweater. “This is no place for me,”” remarked Diogenes dryly, as he blew out his lantern and started for home. —Charles A. Green, Popping the Question “Will you be my little chimpanzee?"’ “Sir, you are extremely in- sulting!” “Why, I thought that was the proper way to propose! It is according to all the popular songs.’’ is what he | Love's Stepladder Culmination Expectation Contemplation Exhilaration Revelation Application Consternation Determination Indignation Trepidation Exasperation Infatuation Separation Hung Up “Why did that manufacturer have to suspend?”’ “He was held up by his hands and could not recover his footing.”’ The Unfortunate Fact “*A man’s sins find him out sooner or later,"’ said the philosopher sententiously. “Yes,’’ said the cynic; ‘‘but, unfortu- nately, most of the time they find him in.’” JUDGE'S After All These Years: or, The Value of Preserved Hen Fruit Beating Joshua WHEN Joshua enjoined the sun And made it halt its flight, No doubt he thought that he had done A clever thing, all right. But many women of to-day A greater feat can do. They halt o!d Time himself, while they Stand pat at thirty-two Or any age they care to be, Though Time tugs at the bit. They do it, too, quite gracefully, And get away with it. Walter G. Doty. The Play’s Not the Thing First New Yorker—Was the play poor? Second New Yorker—Randall stole home after the first act. Imagine preferring home! MOTION PICTURES comicbooks.com