Judge — May 23, 1914 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PSS YS oe Sew Mores dyn Its a Shame To Take the Money LAS! When you are ripe to fall For her sweet charms, and ask to call, And she says, ‘‘Goodness me, oh, dear! I'm dated up this week, I fear. But won't you come next Fri- day night? That time will suit exactly right!’’ . Don’t sit and mutter in your den And envy all those lucky men; For, ten to one, she’s calmly sitting All aloney with her knitting, Sighing up her chiffon sleeve At the way her kind deceive. But she'd rather sit aloney, Or with some confiding crony, Than to have you think a minute That she isn’t strictly in it! It's an outrage! It’s a crime! Oh, you simp! You trusting male! When she keeps you serving time, She is camping on your trail! Jane Burr. WAR IS NOT ALWAYS HELL Missed It First mountaineer— So you're unhappy in your married life, Pete. Second mountaineer—Yep. J madeabigmistake. I ought to have married a society woman. My woman is allus kicking be- cause she ain’t got more chil- dren than dogs. Why Women Leave Home He—Why is it that the mod- ern woman spends so much of her time away from home? She—Well, a woman with several men folk in her family has to leave home in order to have a rest in an easy chair. Pretty Good Proof Hokus—Is it true that bleach- ing the hair causes insanity? Pokus—Well, I know many a fellow who is simply crazy over a blonde. ** You are an ass, sir “* Father !"" comicbooks.com