Judge — May 23, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Moth- Proof harms the bom: Jonial days. Lo SOCIETYS This is to let the res of JURCE know about societys newest member— S Anarg gyros ‘SPECIAL BRUSH-END Cigarettes Ym. oa and rather expensiv fade entirely by in and pent wrapped in wih ie foi Hf be 2 rere fake ness pnd fl favor. At cl yl sand the Hler stands- 2 5¢. Keep Your Hair Healthy Vaseline Reg. U. S. Pat. OF, Hair Tonic A Health-giving dressing for the scalp. Prevents dandruff and fall- ing of the . Gets right down to the roots and gives just the necessary stimulation needed to keep the hair in perfect condition. For sale everywhere. Send 10c for trial size bottle CHESEBROUGH MFG. COMPANY [Consolidates 1734 State Street New York Trial Red Cedar Chests NEWEST ] Fable of the Frankfurter and the Pickle HERE was once a Frankfurter which, just because it was Imported, was all swelled up and considered itself the grandest little Thing in the whole Delica- tessen Shop. The Frankfurter sneered at the Ham, because it came from Virginia and was once on the Hog; declined to associate with the Cheese, on the ground that any- thing so Holey couldn't possibly be alto- gether on the Level, and remarked that the Roast Beef was very Tough and that the Bread was entirely too Fresh. One day a Dill that had been Pickled for a long time bumped into the Frank- furter and said, ‘‘Scuse me (hic!), Fido.” This got a Laugh all around, especially from the little Bermuda Onions, which were very Young and couldn’t appreciate the gravity of the Offense. “One day a Dill that had been Pickled for a long time bumped into the Frankfurter and said : * Scuse me (hic !), Fido." "" The Frankfurter drew itself up with dignity and challenged the Pickle to a Du but the Frank. was so unpopular that it couldn't find a Second—except an Egg, which was really a Third or possi- bly Fourth—so the Matter was put up to the Mustard, which declared itself in favor of a Draw. Then a Bean commenced to string the Frankfurter by offering to play it thirty- six Holes on its own Links. Hereagreat shout went up from one end of the Counter, much to the annoyance of the Frankfurter, which was Red all over; however, it concluded to overlook the Matter, noticing that the Noise emanated from a couple of Mackerels that were thoroughly Soused. A Tongue that had been Silent up to now remarked that the Frankfurter was a Fraud; that the nearest it ever had been to Germany was Milwaukee, where both it and the Frankfurter had been Smoked-Out. Then a French Sardine wanted to butt- in, but it was Canned. It looked for a Minute as if there were going to be a very Rough House, when suddenly Mrs, Hasenpfeffer, who presided over the Dispensary of Dyspepsia, ap- peared upon the Scene, waddled up to the Frankfurter and cut it off in the Midst of its Pride; she drove a Fork into the Pickle, split the two Mackerels down the Middle, wrapped them all in a piece of Paper, collected eighteen cents from a Patient, and closed for the Night. Moral—The fellow who prides himself on his High Polish shouldn’t forget that he’s Bound to end with a Dead Finish. —M. 8. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. Old Overholt Rye “*Same for 100 years” Pure and delicious now as in the days when it cheered the hearts of our forefathers. Always uniform in purity and quality, Mellowed in the wood and bottled in bond. A. OVERHOLT & CO. Pittsburgh, Pa. “He lives most who breathes most air” pen and take supply of good old long. Try it and see. In Bottles and Splits—Leading De C.M.EVANS& SONS Eatab. 1786 HOTEL LE MARQUIS 12 to 16 East 31st St., New York. A leading famiiy Plan. Suites, $3.00 Upward. Special rates between May and October, Send for booklet and particulars. E. H. CHATILLON. Single Rooms, $1.50. to $100 a Week Easy Pare, Bath comicbooks.com then Hive not only twice as well but twice as