Judge, 1914-05-09 · page 14 of 25
Judge — May 9, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains miscellaneous short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Undying Faith"** — A sentimental poem about buried hopes and resilience, likely referencing a cemetery or failed investment. **"Coming Fast"** — A joke about college costs: a man receives many letters, which the postman assumes indicate business success, but they're actually bills from his sons in college demanding money. **"In Good Company"** — A prisoner appears before a magistrate repeatedly. The joke: he claims he only socializes with policemen and magistrates, so they themselves are his "bad company." **"Mental Suggestion"** and other short pieces satirize human psychology and behavior—positive thinking, romantic mishaps, automobile rudeness, and family dynamics. **"The Hen and the Ducklings"** illustration depicts a domestic farm scene. **"Obsessed"** cartoon shows a couple in a waiting room; the caption jokes that the man thinks the woman is flirting with him when she's actually just fidgeting. The page is largely non-political filler content—domestic humor, relationship jokes, and observations about contemporary social life (college expenses, automobiles, moving pictures).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Undying Faith NO FLOWER spreads its fragrance sweet; The soft and yielding earth is bare, Nor yet profaned by heavy m feet. Alas! My hopes are buried there. No mausoleum rears its A, head, " . Memorial of pride and A simple bit of wood, instead, To tell the world what lies below. Yet hope, ah, me! eternal springs. And so, despite my prospects drear, No doubt I'll start, with faith that clings, Another garden plot next year. —Lonis B. Capron. Coming Fast “Business must be picking up with you,’’ said the postman, as he threw down a bundle of letters, “No, it isn’t business,’’ the man at the desk replied, with a sigh. ‘‘My two sons are away at college now. These are demands for more money."" In Good Company Magistrate—What! You here again? You are perfectly incorrigible! You see, now, what bad company leads to. Prisoner —How can you say that? Why, I never see any one but policemen and magistrates! THE HEN AND THE DUCKLINGS WAITING OBSESSED The fiy—Come on, fellers, it's all rig! Mental Suggestion H's MIND it was a wondrous one, and when it thought a thought, the thought it thunk was good as done and into being wrought. If he were suffo- cating, he gave not up to despair; but with a smile of joyous glee, he’d huma nice ‘‘fresh air.’” If in the ocean void of hope he floated mid the roar, he’d conjure up a cake of soap and ‘‘wash himself’’ ashore, And when he could not lick a foe, his ardor’d never damp. He'd write the cuss a note, you know, and “‘lick the postage stamp.”” If any pains there chanced to be, he'd greet themwithagrin. “Perhaps they’re win- dow-panes,’’ quoth he, “to let the sunlight in.’’ And once when he had borrowed ‘‘10,’" in spite of all my hints, he ‘‘thought’’ "twas his, and it has been his own forever since !—Carlyle Smith. Naturally “At any rate, I can truthfully say my busi- ness is never at a standstill.’’ . “What is your busi- ness?"’ “Moving pictures. ” The old boob thinks it’s the lady that's tickling him ! Rail Fence Thoughts MAs¥ a girl finally marries the fellow she made fun of when he first tried to court her. If you want to pass along the street without being seen, walk just behind a pretty young thing who has on a slit skirt. It is a wardrobial impos lity to be a sport with one suit of clothes. Lots of folks appear to be getting along better than you are when they are not. —George Bingham. Without Recall The passing auto squawks and, having squit, Speeds on; nor all the names that you may shout at it Shall call it back to brush off half the mud That it has splashed, so you had better quit. Personal Delivery Preferred Aunt Jane (forbiddingly)—One of the most insulting things a man can do, Mar- ion, is to throw a kiss at a girl. Don’t you agree with me there? Marion—I certainly do, auntie—when there is no impenetrable barrier between. Reasonably Safe Ted—Is his wife going to sue him for alimony? Ned—I shouldn't think so. he works for his fathe law. You know, As an absorber of love letters there is nothing to compare with a blotting pad. comicbooks.com