Judge, 1914-05-02 · page 12 of 41
Judge — May 2, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **Top Cartoon**: Shows a couple dancing, captioned with French military commentary. The visual joke appears to be a pun on "rapid strides" (military progress) versus literal dancing strides. **"Jane" Story**: A sarcastic narrative about hiring an unemployed orphan with savings. The humor lies in the employer's mercenary calculation—he helps her not from charity but because she has "five thousand francs...lying idle," which he can use for his business. **"Chloris" & "Love's Lingo"**: Romantic poems poking fun at courtship, particularly the absurdity of a language barrier with a French girl where neither speaks the other's language, yet they communicate through physical attraction and "the language of the kiss." **Bottom Cartoons**: Illustrate domestic humor—a wife's excuse about new dresses and a husband's retort about the bathroom. The page emphasizes romantic/marital comedy and petty financial self-interest, reflecting period attitudes toward courtship, immigration, and gender relations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Les experts militaires declarent unanimement que I’ armee francaise fait des progres rapides. Military experts agree that the French army is making rapid strides. Jane is now alone upon the streets and with five thousand francs, She seeks employment, and, without a reference, she narrates this history. And those that hear, they laugh and say, “This is the story cock and bull.’” She comes to me. Most prudently, I ask to see her book of credit at the bank. Monsieur, five thousand francs, and lying idle. Ah, Jane, come in! A lovely bow, and for the first, you do make progress. Now, rest those pretty eyes, and on to-morrow try again. She does depart. Oh, la, my friend! She is of an ugliness that is distressing. But, then, monsieur, what would you? Jane is anorphan. She has five thou- sand francs. I take her in the busi- ness. Chloris WEET Chloris walks the street a-down; Forget-me-nots in spring Are not so blue as are her eyes— Sweet Chloris’ eyes I sing! Her smile is greeting to the morn, A benizon of grace; Like daffodils fresh from the rain Her fascinating face. Her charming voice—a woodbird’s note, Clear, soft, beyond compare; And like the violets dew-wet My Chloris’ purple hair. —Kate Masterson. Love's Lingo I MET a girl from gay Paree, Who spoke no English; I speak no French. Our converse we Could not distinguish, I said, in manner most polite, “*I’'m fond of you.’” All she could stammer, in her fright, Was, ‘‘Parley vous?’ I took her with me for a walk. She beamed with joy; But all she said, by way of talk, Was this, ‘Ma foi!"’ Yet long our little tete-a-tete In mem’ry lingers; One can, you know, interpolate Upon one’s fingers. And when I pleaded with this miss, Without rehearsal She knew the language of the kiss— 'Tis universal !—R. C. McEtrary. Fruit Mr. Peach, before leaving town on a business trip, instructed his wife’s nurse to apprise him of the arrival of the stork. She obliged with the following telegram: “Mrs. Peach has a pair."’ Movies Will Tell Lady of the kimono—How do you know your husband wasn’t in Mooseton when he said he was? Mrs. Visit—I went to a movie show one night, and a film showed him in the band wagon as his lodge paraded at Elkhart. An Exception She—Well, my dear, please don’t complain about my new dresses. You know you can’t go to any place these ‘days un- less you dress! The brute—What about the bathroom? Some day there'll be an end to the things you hate, as well as the things you don’t. Un tuyau pour ceux qui veulent vendre des marchandises avec succes. Employez le moyen propice. Tip on selling: Use the best advertising medium. comicbooks.com