Judge, 1914-04-25 · page 7 of 24
Judge — April 25, 1914 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The cartoon depicts a humorous domestic scene: a car has arrived at a house where a cow stands in the yard, and the caption reads "The calf—Great guns! Suppose that is the prodigal son!" The joke plays on the double meaning of "calf" (the animal) versus "calf" (leg), suggesting the car's arrival is unexpected and comical—perhaps implying the vehicle itself looks ungainly or cow-like, or that an unwanted visitor has arrived. The page's main feature is "The Man of Wisdom," satirizing the know-it-all barber who claims encyclopedic knowledge about sports, horses, theater, weather, and everything else—yet is "just" a barber. The satire mocks pompous men who overestimate their expertise and authority across unrelated domains. The accompanying poems and short quips ("Drawing a Bead," "Waiting," "A Lady Bountiful") are typical Judge filler content—light social commentary on romance and gossip.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
er fa- here's in re. at him slick, The calf—Great guns! The Man of Wisdom KNOW a man who knows more about the ins and outs of statesmanship and diplomacy than Bryan ever had the cour- age to wish to know. NG, He can tell you about CONSAY every branch of sport— baseball, golf, polo, ten- is, swimming and mum- bletypeg—and with great- er authority than the edi- tor of a sporting page. . He can give you offhand Ts the batting average of r JJ every man on every team “+= in every league. Or, for that matter, the towns the players came from and the schools they did not attend. Race horses and their records and their ancestry and progeny and trainers and owners are common knowledge to him. This applies also to automobiles and trains and boats and foot racers. He will give you information concern- % DIRE FOREBODINGS ing the best plays in town, together with a list of plays the actors have previously appeared in. This, too, with operas and singers and moving-picture outfits. He is on the spot with the date of the heaviest rain or snowfall, barometric conditions for any stated time since the deluge, and cannot be feazed. He knows. No matter what, who, where, when or how in which anything, anybody or any time is concerned, he knows—and he knows better than any one else in the world. No exchange editor or man in charge of the query column can compare with him. They are simpletons in the pres- ence of this mighty man of moment. If there was ever an encyclopedia that walked and talked, this man is that ency. He is a man worth knowing, you think. Well, if you promise never, never to breathe it to any one else, I will reveal his identity. He is the man who cuts my, your, our hair.—artemus Ward Citing. Suppose that is the prodigal son! Drawing a Bead ‘ «Dio you follow the thread of her dis- course ?’” “‘No; I soon saw that she just wanted to string me."’ Waiting She’s waited long in the twilight glow, With eyes downcast and head bent low, And one white hand on the splendid band Of her braided hair. A lover, near, But sore perplexed and wrought with fear, Dares never take the lingering hand She waited there when the year was new, She waited still when the flowers blew; And on and on she must ever wait, Till the old year lies by the western gate. She may have sisters, or near, or far — But this is the girl on the calendar. —Diron Merritt. A Lady Bountiful “Do you like Miss Prattle?’’ “Yes; she’s so generous, Never keeps anything to herself, and is always ready to give away even her best friend.’” comicbooks.com