Judge, 1914-04-25 · page 14 of 24
Judge — April 25, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This piece satirizes the generational gap between a self-made father and his spoiled college son. The father recounts his austere college days: working before dawn, eating bread and milk, studying rigorously in an unheated attic. He tolerated fraternity dues and laundry costs as necessary college expenses. However, he erupts when his son requests reimbursement for **theatrical amusements**—a mere $1.20 for entertainment. The father sees this as pure frivolous indulgence, the final proof of his son's entitled attitude. The son's response—that "a fellow has to do as the fellows in his frat do"—perfectly encapsulates the vapid peer-pressure mentality the father finds contemptible. The satire targets wealthy college culture's consumerism and social conformity versus the "character-building" hardship of the previous generation. The father's threat to put his son to work ends the debate decisively.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
N MY day,” said the proud and unhappy father who had written a check for his collegiate son, “I started for college with my fare, nineteen cents and a loaf of bread. I was unfamiliar with any other kind of a loaf. I obtained a peculiarly plain job that I might remain at the seat of learning. The policeman on the beat awakened me at four in the morning that I might perform my duties on a ne per route, At six I used to meet a milk- man and purchase a quart of milk for six cents, the then current price. This, with a portion of bread, constituted my break- fast. I then studied. As I remember it, the subjects upon which I bent my young mind were chiefly Latin, Greek, English, mathematics and_philoso- phy. It was necessary for me to have a fairly intimate acquaintance with them. Professors insisted on it. The faculty thought a young gentleman who was to be honored with a bachelor’s degree ought to be able to tell the difference between a French noun and a Latin verb, ought to be able to spell, ought to know whether Hawthorne or Robert W. Chambers wrote ‘The House of the Seven Gables.’ “T had a speaking ac- quaintance with the profess- ors themselves, acquired by going to classroom with amazing regularity. I knew the college library better than I did the current musi- cal comedies. I retired at ten-thirty p. m., after an ardent evening with Juvenal, Lucretius, Analytics, Jev- on’s Logic and a few crack- ers. My bedroom and study was heated only by the in- tensity of my efforts, being in the attic on account of its trifling rental per week. “My dear son, the items which you have so eloquently explained to me in your touching request for this check certainly stir my soul. I do not object to paying your board at the mere trifle of twelve dollars per week; I have always regretted that I was underfed in my college days. The one hundred and twenty-eight dollars for In His Day By FRED LADD fraternity dues is no doubt necessary; we had no Hungarian stringed orchestra, bil- liards, liveried servants or weekly ger- mans in my day. We had merely a lodge room, twelve by sixteen feet, in a down- town block, where we used to gather once aweek and think afew thoughts. Mys your item of one hundred and sixty. dollars for laundry and sundries is not en- tirely clear tome; yet I realize that lam ignorant. Let that pass. The item of ninety-two dollars for text-books I am glad to honor, though I never have seen you mixing it up with a text-book nor dis- cerned any marks of the encounter in your no doubt superb mentality, ‘There is, however, one item to which I take violent exception. You allege that you have spent, in the semester just ended, one dollar and twenty cents for theatrical amusements. I protest’’?—— “But, father,’’ the young gentleman said, touching the tip of his shoe with his cane and an air of easy, languid grace, eally a fellow has to do as the fellows in his frat do.”” It was plain that the young gentleman was deeply bored. “‘Algy,’’ said the father, ‘I certainly believe you will make a good business man. You have acquired the most en- chantingly monumental gall, in your col- lege training, that I have ever seen, Report at my office for work at sev thirty o'clock sharp to-morrow mornin, JUDGE'S MOTION PICTURES rrr ttn iecroenR Tee (imme Wigwagged (with accent on the wig) comicbooks.com