Judge, 1914-04-25 · page 10 of 24
Judge — April 25, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three unrelated satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **Top cartoon**: "After the Fall" depicts Adam and Eve as modern humans at a social gathering, referencing the Biblical expulsion from Eden. The joke suggests their behavior would be scandalous in polite society—a light jab at contemporary morality. **"Literalized"**: Mocks overwrought romantic prose in popular magazines. The poem ridicules the cliché of describing a woman's touch as "electrifying" by taking it literally—treating love as an electrical circuit with scientific language. It's satire of florid, pseudo-scientific writing in pulp fiction. **Other sections** ("Outdone," "Womanlike," "A Marked Improvement," "To Him Who Waits"): Brief humorous anecdotes and verses about everyday situations—a man admitting he gained weight as a baby, a woman's love striking an emotional "chord," parents relieved their baby finally grew teeth. The page targets sentimental literature, conventional domesticity, and social pretension through gentle, accessible humor meant for general audiences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AFTER THE FALL “Adam, we never would have been allowed to do this in the garden.” Literalized “* Her touch electrifed him."*—From any magazine story. NE TOUCH, and love has fully charged His heart’s high genera- tor; Its circuit pressure so en- larged, His pulse’s indicator Shows voltage of tremen- dous power, Intensely symptomatic Of what the tale calls ‘‘raptured hour, "” Or ‘‘moment most eestatic."" His nerves, live wires of fluid force, In sensory unition Convey along the spinal course Currents of swift transmission That to his very finger Send quivers vibratory— That is, right here the writer ‘‘grips’’ The reader with the story. His eyes, with incandescent light, Like million candles shining, Are turned on her, who at the sight, His soul's desire divining, Acts as transformer of his kiss, As there she walks beside him: (For as per statement heading this) She has ‘‘electrified him."" —Frederick Moxon We would all be contented with our lot if it was 25 by 100 and worth ten dollars a square foot. Outdone THE guests at the table were discuss- ing diets. ‘‘I lived on eggs and milk for two months,’ remarked one lady, ‘‘and gained ten pounds."” “And I,"’ said a gentleman, ‘‘lived for over a year on nothing but milk, and gained in weight every day.” “Mercy !'’ came the chorus. did you manage to do The gentleman smile “I cannot say that I remember,’’ he replied; ‘‘but I presume my method was similar to that of other babies."" Womanlike Madge—1 wrote a letter to Jack, break- ing our engagement; now I must tear it up. Marjorie—Pshaw ! Just add a postscript. **How Although not musical is Maud, This much for her I'll say: Upon my heart she strikes a chord— That organ she can play! A Marked Improvement «e])° YOU believe the world is getting better or worse?”’ “Better."" “‘What reason have you for thinking so?” “Our baby has cut all his teeth, and it’s nearly three weeks now since we've been kept up all night with him.”’ At times all men size up to what they should be. . TO HIM WHO WAITS Executor (with pomposity) —This, sir, is the legacy to which you are the sole and only heir. comicbooks.com