Judge — March 14, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ings optorms eh Reon thele derivatives’ IAMoNasfon CR 20% Down, 10% Per Month With every Diamond we give a written certificate guaranteeing it and agreeing to take it back any time at full price, in ex change for a larger stone. If your purchase is not better value than your dealer ¢ furnish, return it Write for lates J.M. LYON & CO., Estabiished 1843 71-73 Nassau Street, New York aged until every drop is rare and mellow. That’s what gives the flavor to Old I. W. Harper Whiskey. For fifty years that flavor has been the favorite. It’s velvety richness never varies. Your Grandfather chose Old I. W. HARPER because he knew it was the best. Today you can find no finer WHISKEY Bernheim Dist. Co. Louisville, Ky. Not Foreigners—‘‘I didn’t think you al- lowed foreigners in this place,’’ said the millionaire haughtily. **We don’t, sir,’”’ said the head waiter. “Then who are those men ordering wine over there?”’ “Bless you, sir, them ain’t furriners! They’re Ford employes.’’—Detroit Free Press. A Woman's Bureau—Bacon—I see Oak- land, Cal., is to have a woman’s police bureau next year, with a woman in charge. Egbert—Fine! Did youever try to find anything in a woman’s bureau? Bacon—Well, did 1? Egbert—Imagine trying to find a police- man when you wanted one!— Yonkers Statesman, Little Girl! You've a very narrow skirt, Little girl. Are you sure it doesn’t hurt, Little girl? That’s a mincing little stride Where the street is wild and- wide. Are you sure there’s room inside, Little girl? What will happen if you slip, Little girl? Aren’t you fearful it will rip, Little girl? You would better take a sack, So if anything should crack, It would serve you coming back, Little girl. Does your mamma know you're out, Little girl? We're afraid to go about, Little girl. If we met you in the sun, With your skirt so thinly spun, Why, we might all have to run, Little girl. Let the bottom out a bit, Little girl. It is much too tight a fit, Little girl. As the matter sadly stands, You'll be walking on your hands, And in that event—my lands! Little girl! —Colorado (Tex.) Record. Resemblance—‘‘Why does Miss Smith, dancing the tango, remind you of a con- stellation of stars?’’ “She doesn’t. Why does she remind you?’’ “Because she’s a great dipper.’’—De- troit Free Press. Not for Her—‘‘What did you say to him, dad?” “T asked him if he could support you in the style to which you had become accus- tomed.’” “And he?”’ “He said he could.’’ “If he tries it, I'll divorce him!""— Houston Post. The Feminine Way—Reggy—I thought you’d forgiven what I said and promised to forget it? Peggy—But I didn’t promise to let you forget I'd forgiven it.—Chicago News. A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Froit makes an deal appetizing tonic. Sample of bitters by malt. Seta tn stamps. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. [apv.j id Bottled sal ee in Bond Gillsiion ~ fibened Py ee only PEBBLEFORD Old Fy apne Quality Kentucky Bourbon CLEAR SPRING DISTILLING CO, DOUABON, NELSON COUNTT, KY. For Fi irst Photonizt AR et write giter taking my few. easy. Ay feaslon a veritable gold aise! jovestigata at once, Jree- Learn at Home In Spare Time pee eae Tremendous demand. testy Lid eee HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway and 32d Street, New York Dancing in the Palm Garden Daily (except Sunday) From 4 to 6.30 P. M. and 10 P. M. to 1, under the supervision of Mr. G. Hep burn Wilson, M. B., whose assistants are present to dance with guests upon request. IN Fo cecceeenr cts necarereEsescs/| In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comichooks ion