Judge — February 28, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Poem to Katherine HOU beggest me to allocate A private poem, just for thee; My rhymes are all too shallow, Kate— My love is deeper than the sea! My fields must all lie fallow, Kate, Ere they've enough fertility! And so, before I dedicate To thee a rare or random rhyme, Be sure that thou art ready, Kate, To meet my heart in tune and time. Unless I be thy steady, Kate, My numbers cannot be sublime! Let me no more prevaricate ; Thou knowest now what I would say. Let us no longer tarry, Kate— But cut the knot and name the day! The day when we shall marry, Kate, I'll write a rhyme that lives for aye! —Ted Robinson. At the Exhibition Mr. Wayback—Is that a futurist paint- ing, Matilda? Mrs. Wayback—So the book says. Mr, W.—And that other thing’s a fu- turist statue? Mrs. W.—Yep. Mr. W. (in a whisper)—Matilda! Mrs. W.—Yes. Mr. W.—Here’s hoping we never have a futurist baby ! In Agreement Mrs. Curtin-Lecture—What have you ever done.to deserve such a wife as me, I should like to know? Mr. Curtin-Lecture—So should I! CUPID CORRECTED Lowerten—Jamping Jupiter! A Round Robin se HAT do you think, girls?’’ said Miss Myrtle Hazelton, as she en- tered the room of the Young Ladies’ Self- Culture Club as the president was about to call the meeting to order. ‘‘Betty Flukins ’phoned me just before I left home to tell me of—you'd never guess in the world—of her engagement to Edgar Tottleton!’’ “Of all things!’ “*You don’t mean it!” . “Betty is a good half head taller!’’ “And I believe she’s a good three or four years older!"’ KNOWS Uperten—Nothing of the sort, sir. Charles the First! Letter “She must have thought it a case of the last car!"" “I don’t know just how true it is, but I have heard that two other girls refused him!” “He's two-thirds bald!’" “I’m not easily prejudiced against a person, and I never allow myself to be influenced by a first impression, but I formed my own private opinion of him the first time I ever saw him!"” “I don’t believe that he gets more than three thousand a year, and I have known Betty to pay forty-five dollars for a hat and fifteen for a pair of evening shoes!" “Yes; and she told me herself that the man she married had to get hera limousine !’" “Poor little Tottleton!”” “Some of us know what Betty’s tem- per is when she gets started!”” “He hasn't much social position, and I have heard that he has relatives who are simply impossible !'’ “Seems to me that Betty has driven her ducks to a pretty poor market!’’ “Looks that way to me; but I tell you what's let’s do: Let’s send her 8 round-robin letter of congratulation as members of theclub. You're secretary, Kitty. You write just the sweetest lit- tle letter you can, and we will all sign it, won't we, girls? “Of course we will!’” —Maz Merryman. Worse White—Now that your son has gradu- ated, has he decided where he is going to work? Green—Where? He hasn't even de- The hunter—There 's one good thing about a widow. She doesn’t require half so many arrows. cided when. comicbooks.com