Judge, 1914-02-28 · page 12 of 24
Judge — February 28, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **Main Cartoon (top):** "The Telephone Has Its Disadvantages" depicts a man conducting a domestic negotiation via telephone. The joke satirizes how the telephone enables wives to pursue their husbands' attention and coordinate social plans, disrupting male leisure. The man tries to avoid a Palm Beach trip by claiming it's the wrong date, but ultimately capitulates—the "disadvantage" being that telephones make it harder for gentlemen to escape domestic obligations. **Other Content:** The page includes brief satirical pieces: "Shading Diogenes" mocks political reporters' frustrations; "At the Movies" is sentimental verse about cinema's universal appeal; and "Too Easy" jokes about Hell's punishments (Pluto finding the stone-rolling task insufficiently torturous compared to car breakdowns). The underlying theme reflects upper-class anxieties about technology and changing social dynamics between men and women.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“But you'll find ’em all down there, you know!"’ “‘Why can't you come along?” “Me? I say, now, what put that into your head?’’ He puffed strongly and seemed to think deeply. ‘‘What day of the month is it?”” “February 15th.’’ She gasped, reached over and kissed him. ‘‘And do you know —I just thought of it—it’s our wedding anniversary !’" “The deuce you say! By Jove! How sl we celebrate it?”’ “‘How better than by going to Palm Beach together?"’ “That's an idea, surely. all down there.’’ “‘Let’s take a boat! And—and—dear’’ —she leaned over and kissed him again— ‘*we can start on another honeymoon !’’ “Oh, I say, girlie! We'd be awfully bored with each other ona boat, don’t you think? 'Twould take so long, you know. And we'd miss a lot of time with the chaps and girls down there! We'll go by train.’” “Then you'll really go?” “Why not? As you say, it’s devilish dull about here now.’’ “Well, then, take this!’ And she kissed him with sound, if not with feeling. “By Jove! You're really fetching to- day, girlie! I’ll have another, if you don’t mind— Have a cigarette?” And they’re Occasionally a polished gentleman fails to shine in society. FORMAL “D" ye moind if Denny keeps his coat on, Mrs, Clancy? He has a bad cold."" Shading Diogenes Political reporter — After six months doing politics, I’m convinced that old Diogenes handed himself a blind-alley assignment. Police reporter—Console yourself, my boy, by meditating on the immutable many who nowadays are hunting for a good five-cent cigar. THE TELEPHONE HAS ITS DISADVANTAGES At the Movies Rica and poor, and young and old— At the movies! Hair of gray and hair of gold— At the movies! Rags and tatters, furs and lace, Elegant and commonplace, Interest in ev’ry face— At the movies! Tragic view and comic scene— At the movies! Swiftly pass across the screen— At the movies! Indians and robber bands, Cowboys, views of foreign lands, Maude and I are holding hands— At the movies! Harold Susman, Too Easy Pluto (to imp)—Is Sisyphus still trying to roll that stone up- hill? Imp—Yes, my lord. Pluto—Well, start him out on an endless journey with an auto- mobile that will break down every ten minutes. That stone stunt is too mild. No Enthusiast Mother—I am afraid Laura will never become a great pianist. Father—What makes you so discouraged? Mother— This morning she seemed beside herself with joy when I told her she must omit her music lesson to go to the dentist. comicbooks.com