Judge, 1914-02-21 · page 5 of 24
Judge — February 21, 1914 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece parodies the famous George Washington cherry tree legend (apocryphal story where young Washington confessed to cutting down his father's tree). The illustration shows two women gossiping—"Maud" asking friend "Bertha" what mutual acquaintance "Gertie Smithers" has been saying about her. The text reimagines Washington's legend through contemporary literary voices (Jack London, Walt Mason, and Arthur Chatham are credited). Each writer offers their own modern take: London frames it as frontier roughness, Mason as a Kansas frontier tale about hardship and wandering. The satire mocks how different authors would sensationalize or reframe a simple moral story through their own distinctive styles and contemporary concerns, rather than its original lesson about honesty.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INTIMATES Maud—Is Gertie Smithers a friend of yours? Bertha—Yes, What has she been saying about me? The Hatchet Story Modernized How Some Literary Lights of the Present Moment Would Have Handled the George Washington Classic for School Readers By ARTHUR CHAPMAN By JACK LONDON: IN THE Washington placer claim, seventy wolf howls from the capital of Virginia, and a week’s hard mush across the wilderness from Washington, there grew a cherry tree notable for its savage bark. Strong, hairy men from out the wilds wept as they gazed on this tree, with all its suggestions of cherry pies back home. But one morning the news was wafted across the harsh hills that somebody had hacked’ down the famous cherry tree. A vigilance committee of gaunt, giant-framed men was soon formed, and the Washington claim was visited. “What the blue blazes is this we hear about this yere cherry tree being laid low?’’ quoth Shagpat Simon, the leader of the committee, as he twirled a rope in his strong, almost gorilla- like hands—hands which always seemed aching for a chance to clutch a human throat. “It’s true,’’ said the hollow-eyed elder Washington; ‘‘but, boys, it was done by my son George. He has just owned up, and wants his punishment.’’ -A full-throated cry arose from the human pack gathered at the Washington door. But it was a cry of joy—not blood-lust. “It’s the primordial instinct asserting itself!’ exclaimed Shagpat Simon, ‘‘Let’s make up a purse of nuggets for the kid, pardners. Any boy with a primeval, primordial grip on a hatchet like that is goin’ to be President some day !”” By WALT MASO) The truth about the tree is out; I’ll give it straight, don’t worry. ‘Twas Kansas brought the thing about and caused the fam’ly flurry. Young George had heard about our land, famed far in song and story, and longed and longed, to beat the band, to journey to Empory. He wished to see our State of wealth, where farmers rake the shekels, and where the weakling finds new health, and pale faces get freckles, His father wouldn’t let him go where Kansas plains were smiling, so out, where trees stood row on row, George sat, with temper b’iling. He comicbooks.com