Judge, 1914-02-14 · page 11 of 24
Judge — February 14, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top illustration, titled "Sotto Voce," depicts a streetcar conductor addressing a groom (likely a wedding attendant), suggesting the groom made "a little mistake"—presumably a social or transportation error. The cartoon satirizes awkward public moments and social missteps. Below, "A Bonanza" recounts a con story: a New York visitor adulterates a Maine farmer's spring water sample with whiskey and molasses, then has it "analyzed" at Bates College with a fake telegram claiming it's pure whiskey cocktail. The gullible farmer buys the worthless spring at inflated price, expecting to become wealthy like Saratoga Springs resort owners. The satire mocks rural naïveté and the era's dubious mineral-spring health crazes. The right column lists "Rough Behavior"—slang terms for impolite acts (cutting acquaintances, roasting neighbors, etc.)—likely a glossary of contemporary slang for modern readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
menrmiaes glll ty \ A | ] Conductor (to groom)—| guess you made a little mistake. A Bonanza T WAS a farmer living near a famous spring in Maine, a locality where pro- hibition is supposed to reign supreme, who discovered near by what he thought might be a medicinal spring. He filled a -bottie with the water and set it aside, intending to send it to be analyzed the following day. That night a New Yorker, who was boarding at the farmhouse, emptied half of the water out of the bottle and filled it up with whiskey from his flask, adding a pinch of cream tartar and a very little molasses. The farmer intrusted the bottle to an acquaint- ance to convey to Bates College, in Lewi ton, to be analyzed, and for days thereafter dreamed of the time when he would be the proprietor of a miniature Saratoga. After a week had elapsed, a telegram came, and the farmer opened it with trembling fin- gers. It was from his acquaintance and read: ‘‘Buy spring quick at any price. I will take half interest. Letter follows.’’ The countryman bought as instructed, paying about twice what the place was worth, and then there came a long let- ter, saying that the professor who made the analysis had pronounced the water to be pure whiskey cocktail, containing an unusually fine quality of spirits. “T can’t see how we can fail to get rich with @ proposition like that in Maine,’’ the letter concluded; but although the farmer spent most of his.time at the spring One of these tickets calls for a fur-lined overcoat. after that, and drank and drank until an over-irrigated system revolted, he never experienced the least exhilaration, much to his disgust. —Allan Forest. Rough Behavior Cutting an acquaintance. Breaking into society. Mashing a girl. -Hitting the high places. . Smashing a record. Knocking a performance. Choking off a speaker. Ripping out an oath. Hanging a picture. Roasting a neighbor. Jumping onto a proposition. ., Killing time. —Harvey Peake, comicbooks.com