Judge — February 14, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Her Only Reply ‘ « ACCEPT my sincerest good wishes,”’ said he; “And your married life henceforth, I trust it may be A long, happy one.’” It astonished the oie =i 5) “What a funny idea!’’ tT was all she replied. (>) Deceived An accident had oc- curred. A staying had given away, and two carpenters working on it fell to the ground. One was seri- ously injured; the other, unhurt, immedi- ately went to his assistance. The usual crowd quickly gathered. One woman asked in a loud voice, ‘Where is the other man that was hurt?"’ “There he is, holding the injured man,"’ said a voice. “Oh, yes! See how his cheek is puffed out The uninjured man turned his head to- ward the excited woman and said, ‘*‘Mad- am, for your information, that’s a good chew of tobacco.’’ Contrary Knick— Does the dentist drill your teeth? Knack—Yes; but he can’t make them act right. Snap Judgments UST to mark the flight of time, what has become of the “‘poisoned-needle’’ and the ‘‘drugged-soda”’ incident? “Eugenics does not eliminate romance,”” declare its friends. ‘‘Nor romancing,’” re= tort its enemies, The protest of the Wisconsin house - fur- nishing tradesmen against the eugenics law, because it ruins business, simply shows that all great reforms are hampered by the tax paying proletariat, which refuses to foot the bills, So far as reported, the dove which Mr. Wilson liberated while in the South did not fly toward Mexico, Asuffragist speaker in Washington indignantly points out that the average police station is not fit for “even a self-respecting pig.” Self-respecting pigs who stay home at nights need not worry about police sta- tions, Well, when one of its ‘*Su- perior’’ Court judges tells a lawyer he is a cur and threat- ens to knock his head of and starts down from the bench to do it, Washington may feel that its recall of judges law is vindicated. President Wilson's warning to the civil service raiders shows that a man may be a volunteer fireman in Pass Christian and yet not ‘trun wid de machine’’ in Wash- ington. With ten dollars for men’s shoes and twenty-five buttons for women’s shoes, a man naturally asks where it will all end. AN OPTIMISTIC THOUGHT Koldphect—This cold weather isbeastly ! Hotphut—But it has advantages. Windows are kept shut, and you can't hear your neighbors’ phonographs. Just as Congress is getting ready to investigate the grape- juice controversy between Secretary Bryan and Repre- HINT TO WEATHER FORECASTERS Why not leave it entirely to Tuck ? sentative Bartholdt, comes our old friend, the government scientist, who proves that grape juice doesn’t contain any al- cohol at all. A handy thing to have around, these government scientists. But even in the heat of argument, let us be fair. Major-General Wood's trans- fer from Washington to the Philippines was ordered before he declared that mar- ried men made the best soldiers. Every time Secretary Bryan signs a new peace treaty, Secretary Daniels comes along demanding bigger dry docks and a bigger gun foundry, and Secretary Garri- son demands a bigger army. That super-super-dreadnought which the navy will build is probably Secretary Bryan’s battleship ‘‘Friendship.”” The Maryland Legislature, in excluding a senator on the constitutional ground that he is a minister, evidently waives the benefit of clergy. “Great Coesar, dead and turned to clay, Might stop a hole to keep the wind away." Great Cwsar’s dead. Old Pepys, now, his diary writ, Is memory’s aid to modern wit. “And so to bed.’” comicbooks.com