Judge, 1914-02-07 · page 11 of 24
Judge — February 7, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes the lifestyle of a smooth-talking 1920s car salesman named Billy Speedwell, who exploits his charisma ("gab") to sell automobiles to people who can't afford them. The humor centers on marital infidelity and jealousy. Mrs. Speedwell discovers evidence of Billy's extramarital activities: a perfumed handkerchief with a woman's name ("Maudie") found in his coat pocket, then theater ticket stubs in his vest. Billy deflects her accusations with glib charm and excuses, rushing off before breakfast to continue his hustling lifestyle. The satire mocks both Billy's unscrupulous sales methods and his casual marital deceptions. The title "Green-eyed Reward" refers to the jealousy his infidelity provokes. The cartoon above depicts him with his mistress while his wife waits at home—visualizing the duplicity the text describes. The story presents a period critique of Jazz Age morality and commercial dishonesty.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ee HY, this is indeed a delighting surprise !"’ exclaimed Billy Speedwell, as he entered the breakfast- room in his swell apartment and found Mrs. Speedwell waiting for him. “Is it?’’ Mrs. Speedwell responded, her tone burning like caustic. ‘*Well, how about this?’’ She held up to Billy’s view a beautifully embroidered hand- kerchief. It was filmy and lacy enough to inspire covetous- ness in most women. “‘Where’d you find it?’’ Billy asked, still good-natured, but just a bit upset. “You know well enough, coat!"" “Ah! You have a bad habit, dearie, of searching pockets. Or is it just curiosity?” “It was this peculiar perfume. It filled your room. Just smell that!’’ And she thrust the trifle under his nose. “Well, it is an inviting odor!’’ “Oh, it is, is it? But what about this name on it? Maude? Perhaps you call her ‘Maudie.’ Or maybe ‘dearie’!"" “Never saw the lady. the other night.’” “A likely story!’ of contempt. “Better advertise it, Josephine, or give it to your maid. I must say au revoir! I'm ina divvle of a hurry!"’ . And Billy rushed out, having consumed but half a cup of In the inside pocket of your dress Who is it’s I picked that up in Peacock Alley Mrs. Speedwell’s sniff was the essence Tg A Green-eyed Reward = By J. A, WALDRON ETT coffee and even less of a roll. Mrs. Speedwell did not burst into tears. She was too angry for that. Billy Speedwell was the slickest salesman in Auto Row. At clubs and elsewhere —he was a high-class ‘‘mixer’’—he nailed men with real money and made almost impossible sales through the very novelty of his “‘gab’’; yet he also had a fine ability to unloud high-power cars on persons with medium or low-power incomes. He would accept his commissions out of discounted notes assented to by his employers, who were willing to take risks in getting a new car into every auto procession, while he had no conscience as to unfortunate customers’ future embarrassments. Billy could not be with Mrs, Speedwell much, but he was a generous provider, and she never had reason to complain of a lack of pocket money. She was handsome enough to get into the front row of a beauty show, but jealousy tinctured even her ordinary tones, Billy was such a hustler that he breakfasted alone, except when some new discovery by Mrs. Speedwell brought her down to sweeten his repast. The very next morning he found her waiting for him again. “Ah, dearie!’’ was his greeting. never was interrupted. “Don’t ‘dearie’ me, William!’ she responded. ‘‘How about these?’’ And she flashed a pair of theater ticket stubs. “Where'd you find ’em?’’ “In your vest.’" “Are they perfumed?’ His flow of good-humor comicbooks.com