Judge — January 24, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

repaired to Madame Olga’s hotel, where her quarters had been extended to a suite, for a wedding feas*. After prolonged gayety their friends left them, an? the happy couple retired to their individual rooms to dress for their first evening alone. As Adolphus changed his formal attire for something more comfortable, he heard Madame Olga’s voice in ex- travagant endearment. “Oh, my darling!"” she cried, “how I 1-o-v-e you! How I 1-o-v-e you!"’ “‘Ah,’’ thought Adolphus, ‘‘what a fine woman! And how she loves me!’’ Joyous, he quietly entered her room. She stood with her back to the door, fondling a che- tah cub, which purred responsive affection. Adolphus swelled with rage and jealousy. ‘‘So, madam!’’ he cried, ‘‘that creature is the object of your affection, eh?’’ As she turned in surprise, she saw Adolphus, but not her Adolphus. His sparse hair was plastered to his head in sections between which were strips of unmiti- gated baldness that shocked. “Your hair—where is it?’’ she cried. “My hair? Did you think, then, madam,’’ he sneered, ‘‘that you were marrying a wig?” Madame Olga laughed in a way that made Adolphus shudder. She pointed to the door. “Gol’’ she said. ‘‘I never want to see your face again!"’ And as Madame Olga was a strong woman and had tamed lions, Adolphus went. A Knockout UST MARRIED sat in his corner of the ring, putting on his gloves. His ring experience had resulted in many vic- tories, but this was the. first time he was to encounter such a formidable adversary. He had just been married, and he knew he had to win, for his happiness depended upon it. In the other corner of the ring, his opponent, Cost of High Living, flushed with many victories, was gazing at the crowd of Tm THE IDOL RICH Young men and old their homage pay to wealth, that matrimony may Insure them, if they favor find, in eyes that to the truth are blind, spectators and counting the house. Confidence showed in his every movement, for he had always been victorious. A number of Tradesmen were his seconds, while the only assistant Just Married had was his Wife, and she was inexperienced. At the sound of the bell both combatants rushed to the center of the ring and squared off. Just Married drew first blood by the Raise in Wages to the nose, but Cost of High Living uppercut with a Milliner’s Bill that staggered him. They sparred the rest of the round, each watching the otherclosely. At the close of the round, each went to his respective corner. The Trades- men kneaded the muscles of Cost of High Living, while the Wife murmured words of encouragement to Just Married. The second round saw both men greatly refreshed. Just Mar- ried landed a Loan from a Rich Relative to the eye of Cost of High Living, completely closing the optic, and the champion stalled for time. Just Married, feeling victory within his grasp, became careless, | and Cost of High Living hammered him with Increased Cost of Food and a Dress- maker’s Bill to the solar plexus. The end of the round found both men tired. During a minute's rest, the Wife grew tired of the battle, and, instead of giving Just Married a breathing spell, insisted that he use Bequest from Rich Uncle as a knockout blow and end the fight. He was still tired when the bell rang. Before Just Married could put up his hands, he received a volley of Horse Shows, Opera Seats and Atlantic City Bills to the jaw, causing him to become groggy. Before he could use his Bequest from Rich Uncle, an Automobile to the point of the jaw knocked him out. The Wife, seeing the result, made cer- tain arrangements, and, after waiting the legal length of time, became the second of a descendant of the men who bought Manhattan Island for twenty-four dollars, and lived happily ever after. CRITICAL Ex-avidowier—Children, this is your new mamma. The toughest—Gee! 1s dat de best you could do, dad? —Morris Strunaky. Act honestly —act boldly—and leave re- sults to the press agent. comicbooks.com