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Judge, 1914-01-17 · page 21 of 24

Judge — January 17, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

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Judge — January 17, 1914 — page 21: Judge, 1914-01-17

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and filler content** with two lighthearted stories and commercial notices—typical for Judge magazine, a satirical weekly. The advertisements dominate: I.W. Harper whiskey, White Valley gems, Vaseline hair tonic, and mail-order products (Mandel-Post Card Machine, picture-taking outfit, Pears' soap). The two short stories are humorous anecdotes: 1. **"Stories with Smiles"** depicts an elderly man in the Steger Building causing a commotion, frantically searching his overcoat. The punchline: he was merely looking for his **mittens**, which he'd actually possessed all along—a comedy of misunderstanding. 2. **"Sure of That Much"** satirizes a newspaper editor's callous response to an angry subscriber whose daughter's wedding was headlined as a **"Bargain Counter Riot"** (a mismatched headline). The editor's silver lining: the mistake guaranteed the wedding publicity. Both stories reflect period humor: the elderly gentleman's absent-mindedness and editorial incompetence. There's no obvious political satire here—this is routine magazine filler.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YOU!! —man—if you want the fet finest ol, mellow me wii ee INA 1. W. HARPER: WHISKEY 1a 50 years i 2 sequal hasn®. ts ew Co, Louisville, Ky. NA Next Week’s JUDGE Cover Design by James Montgomery Flagg “Clipping His Wings” All News-stands IO Cents WHITE Yautey GEMS Stand acid and fire diaraond test. So hard they eaaily scratch a Ble ami will cut glass, Brilliancy guaran. teed 25 years. Mounted in 14k solid gold. ndlamond mountings. Se before pay. Lae in ad Will sen amination ~ aii cherses 1 loney refunded If net satiat WHITE VALLEY GEM co. 773 Walain Bide, Reg. U. S. Pat. Of. Hair Tonic A health-giving dressing to the scalp. Prevents dandruff and fall- ing of the hair. Gets right down to the roots and gives just the necessary moisture needed to keep the hair in perfect condition. For sale everywhere or Send 10c for trial size. CHESEBROUGH thle COMPANY Consoli. 1736 State Street New York Stories with Smifes Saved—His beard was long and white. It gave him the venerable appearance of a patriarch of old. You could tell that he was becoming very feeble, by his stooped shoulders and slow, halting gait. Although it was snowing, the old man was well protected against the chill winds of winter. His long brown overcoat and black woolen cap contrasted strangely with the whiteness of his beard and made him appear rather odd and quaint. He seemed out of place on the busy street, with shoppers hurrying by him. Just as he had reached the entrance of the Steger (Building, on Jackson Boule- vard, he stopped suddenly, felt of his pockets and became very excited. He seemed to be badly scared or dazed. “TI don’t know how it could have hap- pened,’’ the old man said to himself. “It’s just awful!’’ The more that he felt the various pock- ets of his overcoat, the more nervous he became. Turning around quickly, his cheeks flushed and eyes staring, he exclaimed, “It’s just terrible! 1 can’t understand it! It’s too bad!’’ The attention of many passers-by was aroused. ‘‘What shall I do?’’ they heard him ask. Several spectators rushed up to him. A banker put his hand on the old man’s shoulder and said, ‘‘Tell me what has happened! Let me help you!’’ The old man was so frightened that he did not answer, but kept fumbling at his overcoat, while a large crowd gathered around him. Suddenly he put his hands deep down in his overcoat pockets, and, with a sigh of relief, slowly drew forth two long, flaming red objects. “Oh, my!’’ he gasped, as he held them up to view. ‘‘I thought I had lost my mittens !’’—Steger (ill.) Journal. Sure of That Much—‘‘Look here!’ ex- claimed the angry subscriber, as he shook the paper in the editor’s face. ‘‘I'd like to know what this means! You may stop my paper to-day! I'll never have your disgusting sheet in my house again!’’ “If you will tell me what your trouble is,’ the editor calmly replied, “perhaps I can explain it.’” “You can’t explain it! Here’s an ac- count of my daughter’s marriage yester- day afternoon, and look at the head you have put on it! ‘Bargain Counter Riot. Disgraceful Scenes in Which Women Take Leading Part.’ How are you going to explain a thing like that?’’ “My dear sir, I’m mighty sorry it hap- pened; but there’s one thing you may be sure of. Everybody who gets hold of a copy of the paper will read about your daughter’s wedding.’’—Chicago Record- Herald. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER. “Its Purity Has Made It Famous.” 50c. per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles {ade One Days Pay One Matis Work i] made by Jos. Hancock, Lamont, Schearer, Montana, made $22.35 in 5 Miller, lowa, Made $13.65 in oneafternoon. Weha: proof of this and hundreds of similar reports. No matter who you are or where you live, here’s your Chance to double your present salary or income, working during spare time or permanently as a one Be sre iedienatart cle orme oF, travel, enjoy & indepe: Et you can cara Mandel Post Gard Machine A portable post card gallery, ‘Takes, finishes and dell BS ‘ost Sonnet PN makes This Piste Taking Outfit / ete, read: elypa yoo acomplet y- Everyone admires a clear complexion. It’s an open secret that Pears’ Soap has brought the glow of health to millions of fair faces. Sold in America and every other coustry. You like to HUNT and FISH. Then surely you will enjoy the NATIONAL SPORTSMAN Magazine, with its 160 richly imustyated fowis and vi na, fishing tackle, camp-out- Btethe best places to go for fish game, and a thourand and one valuable “How to” hints for Sportamen. ated Offer Mail us 25¢ in stamps or fe months’ you absolutely Free of Charge Quect t {hese Hansecms| Ormula Watch Fobs fen russet leather strap. Don't Delay—Send your order Today. NATIONAL SPORTSMAN, 32 Federal St., Boston, Mass. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comichooks.cowy)