Judge, 1914-01-17 · page 15 of 24
Judge — January 17, 1914 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humor pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"When Eve Came to the Garden"** presents a biblical parody where animals discuss romantic longing while Adam feels lonely. The joke: animals naturally pair by sex, but Adam—being human and male—has no female counterpart until Eve arrives. It's gentle satire on human desire and the Genesis creation story. **"Constancy"** jokes about a woman's conditional devotion: she claims she can't live without her boyfriend, but he sarcastically responds he'd have waited if she weren't born for fifty years—implying her love is shallow. **"The Best Yet"** contains dated racial humor depicting a Black laundress boasting about her fourth husband, whom she controls through intimidation. This reflects period stereotypes and offensive dialect writing common to Judge. **Other brief pieces** mock marriage dynamics: wives outranking husbands, infant speech, and a woman's immodesty blamed on her husband's inability to afford jewelry. The cartoons employ vintage illustration styles with period-typical social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
When Eve Came to the Garden |AID the elephant to the kanga- roo, “There’s some- thing the mat- ter with Ad- am, too. I’m used myself, when the roses blow, To a kind of in- sanity, don’t you know? I sigh and shudder and long and pant For some dear little girl of an elephant. Such curious feelings! I guess you’ve had ’em, And now I believe they’ve got hold of Adam."” Said the kangaroo to the pachyderm, *“T know, old chap, and it makes me irm. My silly heart sings a canzonet At the very sight of a kangarette. It’s love, love, love that so sweetly vexes Created beings that come in sexes. But how can this state our friend assail, Since a human being is only male?’’ LATER Said Adam to Eve, ‘‘’Twas an awful thing To be alone in my gardening, When the elephants and the kangaroos And mice and lions and ants and gnus Could each to his tender heart annex A tender heart of the opposite sex. CONSTANCY This garden was well enough, but I vow Amy—You say you can’t live without me, Jack. But suppose—just suppose—I No Garden of Eden at all till now!"” had not been born for another fifty years? —Ralph Bergengren, Jack—Dazling, I should have waited, Overshadowed She Knew The Best Yet Smith—Does your wife think you’re the best man who ever lived? Jones —Of course not! I’m her second husband. “Just hear the baby talk !’’ said May. «$9 YOU are married again, are you, “‘I wonder what he tries to say.’’ Chloe?”’ said Mrs. Smythe to her “‘A word I never heard before, colored laundress, who had just achieved ——_ Of twenty syllables or more,” matrimony for the fourth time and two That no fortune-teller has yet made a Ned answered. ‘‘Oh, I’m sure he'll be of the three predecessors of the fourth million gives that vocation a black eye. A great, wise man some day,’’ saidshe. husband were still living. ‘‘Do you think that you have a good husband this time?”’ “The best one yit, missus !’’ said Chloe, with much enthusiasm. ‘‘I is only got to stomp my foot once en shake my fist at that niggah, en he’s skeered mos’ to death! Looks lak I is -gwinter be hap- pier with that niggah than with any hus- band I is had yit!"” “Bold,” Indeed ! Never mind them, little skirt, Who your character would hurt. From the way you shrink and shrink, - You're quite timid, I should think. —Frederick Moron, Her Modesty Piece Gramercy— Your bodice is perfectly in- decent! Mrs. Gramercy—It’s your blame, my THE PROUD OWNER dear. You said you couldn’t afford to “Yes, old man, there 's nothing like a machine for seeing the country." buy me a diamond necklace. comicbooks.com