Judge — January 17, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Eternal Chase Ovr city dweller’s world is gray. For eons by the clock he’s hopped from bed and chased away to forty-storied block. The shadows of the city’s piles in- fold him as a pall. Its din, its whir, its mobs, its wiles—he fain would flee them all. And so he salts his dime on dime and keeps the cockles warm in contemplation of the time he’ll hie him toa farm. Our agriculturist the while goes early out of doors. With Na- ure tocommune? (Here smile.) Ah, no! To do the chores. And toils and sweats he through the day, nor finds a hint of bliss in milking cows and pitching hay; but says, ‘‘I’msick of this! Why stick,’’ he adds, ‘‘to drudgery, when joy of liv- ing’s nigh? This farm’s for sale, and, as for me, to Gothamtown I'll hie. —John W. Carey. Ghost of 2 Smile Rosemary—Have you ever been im- pressed by the mystery of Mona Lisa’s smile? Thornton—No. She looks to me just like some woman who is doing her best to laugh at one of her husband's jokes. INCONSIDERATE She of the boarding-house—Just look at the meanness of this! Not one sender's address on any of their letters. anybody cared. The idea! The Critics It matters not how deep the wrong, How far morality is slip- ping; We take th> curse off quite with ‘‘streng,’’ And lend a halo bright with “gripping.” A Financial Flurry A few years ago the com- mercial interests in some of the Western States were somewhat disturbed over matters of finance, a condi- tion generally described as a “financial flurry.’’ The di- rectors of one of the banks in Muncie, Ind., found it neces- sary to hold meetings daily. One day, after a session, the directors were filing out of the bank to the sidewalk. One of them was accosted by a local character, a fellow noted for his original remarks as well as for his lack of funds. Recognizing the men before him as the directors of the bank, the fellow said, “Well, boys, you are right in the midst of a financial flurry, ain’t you?’’ The cashier of the bank said he guessed they were. “Well,”’ said the fellow, “I’m darned glad of it. You bankers will now appreciate what I’ve been in the midst of all of my life.’’ Why She Does It Little beams of moonshine, Little hugs and kisses Make a little maiden Change her name to Mrs. Bright Side “Will I recover, doctor?’’ inquired the pedestrian who had been run over. “Surest thing you know!’’ replied the ambulance sur- geon. ‘‘The fellow who owns the auto is a millionaire.’’ All They Needed Mabel -—- Some men simply don’t know how to make love. Maude— Why didn’t you give them a chance, dear? Small change makes more noise than big bills. Just as if Mr. Flathunter—What did you say was the size of the parlor? Janitor—Seven by Mrs, Flathunter—Ob, George! we must take it! That's ex- actly the size of our grand piano. ten. Latest News from Hogwallow, Ky. R4z BARLOW went to Tickville the first of the week to watch the train come in, and brought a bottle of train smoke home with him. Dock Hocks, who has been operating his barber shop out under a shade tree all summer, has had to move inside, as the occasional rains wash all the lather off of the faces of his customers. The root of the Dog Hill church sprung a leak last Sunday during the sermon. Fletcher Henstep happened to be sitting directly under the leak and did not have to move, he being a Baptist. Tobe Moseley says as soon as a person gets corns on his feet, he begins to get them on his mind. Poke Eazley has been trying to classify bedbugs, but can’t decide whether they come under the head of family troubles or unfinished business. Whiie the roads are so muddy, Miss Rosy Moseley has decided to wear her short sleeves. —George Bingham All Arranged Brock—So he’s to marry the armless lady! How could he ask her for her hand? Smock—They compromised on her foot. comicbooks.com