Judge, 1913-11-15 · page 18 of 24
Judge — November 15, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and serialized fiction**, not political satire. The upper half features a travel advertisement for steamship lines offering winter Caribbean cruises—a commercial pitch for vacation packages to Florida, Cuba, Puerto Rico, and Mexico. The right column contains a serialized romantic comedy story about a character named "Billy," a Broadway performer and serial divorcee ("Mrs. Snapper No. 5") who has sworn off marriage. He meets an innocent young woman from out of town and rapidly courts and engages her within days. The humor derives from the contrast between Billy's jaded, urbane character and the naive "Alice's" romantic expectations, with knowing observers amused that she doesn't realize she's marrying a notorious repeat bridegroom. This is light entertainment fiction typical of Judge's content—comedic rather than satirical of any particular political issue or current event.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
i fees take you across the blue waters of the American Med- iterranean to Florida, Cuba, Porto Rico, Bahamas. Texas, Mexico and other delightful winter resorts. They offer some exceptionally attractive “Circle Tours” with choice of return routes and stop-over privileges. They can be arranged in the form of short vacations of from five to twenty-three days, with ample time for side trips, if desired. Write us and we will help you plan your trip and send you beautifully illustrated free copy “Travel” Number, AGWI Steamship News. A letter now will mean better accommo- dations for the journey. Address any one of the following: Atlantic, Gulf & West Indies Steamship Lines CLYDE STEAMSHIP CO. THE NEW YORK & PORTO RICOS. S. CO. General Offices, Pier 36, North River, N. Y. General Offices, 11 Broadway, N. Y. MALLORY STEAMSHIP CO. NEW YORK & CUBA MAILS.S. CO., (W: General Offices, Pier 36, North River, General Offices, Pier 14, East River, N. Y. DISTRICT PASSENGER OFFICES BOSTON—192 Washington St. CHICAGO—444 Com’l Nat'l Bank Biig. PHILADELPHIA —701 Chestnut St. 'WASHINGTON™— 1306 F St., N. W. NEW YORK-—290 Broadway etmaa ‘ells all soot eur ean 3 tortis '& CO., Diamonds, Watches, etc. PETE Tc QE LOE, Sete Stn CHICAGO, TLL; cemented 25 Years that has had the Rialto in hysterics for the last twenty-four hours. Want to hear the dope?”” “Shoot !’’ gasped the p. a. “Well, it was this way. You no doubt. remember that when Billy succeeded jn severing the matrimonial rope which bound him to Mrs. Snapper No. 5, he took a solemn vow to remain single for the remainder of his natural life and then some. He reopened his bachelor quar. ters, began to carry real money and was rapidly regaining his Broadway form, when—well, you can guess what hap. pened."” “Proceed, cherub, with your Arabian Nights’ tale. I’m all attention.”” “Well, one fine afternoon, as Billy, dressed in his glad togs, was sailing with the wind down Fifth Avenue, he ran across an old college chum, accompanied by a fluff of a sister, who was all rosy cheeks, dimples, blue eyes and lace, You know the kind—right off the Christ. mas tree from some town out in the neck of the woods whence come the bush- league ball players, and fit to break the heart of any man who had grown weary of this town’s over-decorated silk rus- tlers. It was Billy off the good-resolu- tion boat with a loud splash, and little Alice (that was her name) was ready to tear up the names and addresses of her one-night-stand admirers as soon as she found herself shaking hands with the celebrated comedian. Everybody noted that it was a clear case of lovey-dovey from the introduction, and so they re frained from slipping the news to the little lady that the hero of her dreams was a descendant of Henry VIII. and had been over the matrimonial hurdles s0 often that he was no longer considered a promising entry for the double-harness sweepstakes. “It took Billy almost a full week to dash through a spectacular courtship that was so full of suppers, drives and pres ents that the infant never had a moment to look at the compass and get her bear- ings. But if the time required to get a favorable answer and slip on the diamond circlet was brief, the journey to the altar had all the speed of a garrison finish. Two days after the engagement, Billy hoisted the sign for a quick wedding ceremony, pleading that he was liable to be sent on the road, and that he wanted to have a real, cozy honeymoon before anything might happen that would cause even a brief separation. What he really was afraid of was that news of his latest affair of the heart would get into the newspapers, along with much other in- formation and detail. “The wedding took place one morning in a quiet little chapel ’way up town, but by the usual underground route the story leaked out and was known the length and breadth of Bright Light Lane before sundown. Previous to that even- ing’s performance, the happy bridegroom Frery lover of a goad cocktail should insist that Abbotts Ritters be used In making it best. CW. Abbott & Co, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com