Judge — November 8, 1913 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CRUISES Orient—India by S. S. Cleveland (17,000 tons) from New York January |5th, 1914. Through the Mediterranean, Suez Canal, Red Sea and Indian Ocean, to Bombay and Colombo. Side trips through India, Holy Land and Egypt. Stopping at points in Europe, Asia an Africa. Duration 93 days. Cost $700 up. Including shore ex- cursions and necessary expenses. West Indies— Panama Canal by S.S. Amerika (22,500 tons) and jictoria Luise (17,000 tons) during Beez. February, March and April. ration 16 to 29 days. Cost $145 —$175 up. Also four 15-day cruises from New Orleans during passn, February and March, by SS. ‘uerst Bismarck and Kronprinzessis Cecilie. $125 and up Atlas Service Weekly sailings to Cuba, Jamaica and the Panama Canal, Hayti, Co- lombia, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, by new fast Twin-Screw Steamers. Mediterranean Service by S. S. Cincinnati and S. S. Cleve- . Ports of call: Gibraltar Naples and Genoa. Nile Service by superb steamers of the Hamburg and Anglo-American Nile Company. 1915— Around the World Through Panama Canal From New York, January 31st, 1915, by S. S. Cleveland (17,000 tons). Duration 135 days. Rates $900 up, including shore trips and neces- sary expenses. Write for information, stating cruise. Offices in principal cities. HAMBURG- AMERICAN LINE 41-45 Broadway New York The Cynic WHat use to be a hero, Through worry, grief and rout? I'd rather be acoward = * And cut the trouble out. Your brave man holds the spotlight For thirty days, mayhap; Then comes another hero And wipes him off the map. Athletic figures tower Like Ajax on the street, But figures on deposit Are very hard to beat. Let him with mighty muscles With other heroes rank. I'd rather be stoop-shouldered, With money in the bank. —H. 8. Haskins. Our Rolers The cook, who has charge of the de- partment of the interior. The courier, who takes charge of for- eign affairs. The charwoman, who cleans us out of house and home. The coachman, who drives us hither and yon. The janitor, who sometimes ‘‘roasts us"’ and sometimes gives us a ‘‘cold shake.’ The laundress, who often wrings our bosoms. The lady’s maid, who keeps her mis- tress in order, The manservant, who keeps his master in order. The parlor maid, who makes a clean sweep daily. The ‘‘white wings, with our ‘*dust.”” The elevator boy, to whom we owe many of our ups and downs. The chambermaid, who makes the beds we must lie on. The footman, who often lets us in. The waiter, who puts us in our places. The butler, who so largely controls our spirits. The gardener, who often cuts down our supply of asparagus. The chauffeur, who runs the whole machine. —Geo. B. Morewood. A Welcome Change “‘Before you take this house,”’ said the honest real-estate agent, ‘‘I wish to tell you something that is against it.’’ “What's that?’’ asked Hemmandhaw. “It’s right next to a boiler shop.” As he took out his wallet to make the first payment, Hemmandhaw replied, “Oh, that’s all right! The family next to where we now live has a parrot, a phonograph and a pair of twins.’’ who get away From Hate to Love **I do so hate to have you go!’’ She tearful sped her parting guest; But as the train moved off, she smiled, “Lord! how I'll love to get a rest !’’ —Frederick Moxon. INING alone this Thanks- iving? Don't you care. Prove yourself with a copy of the Thanksgiving Number of JUDGE and have a lit- tle party of your own. There are enough laughs in this particular number to add zest to a cold-storage turkey, stiff with the frost of the Pleistocene Period, plus the indigestible cranberries of yesterday. The little cares of life never bother the people who read JUDGE. In all ek canaoed households, where JUDGE comes in regularly through the mail, worry goes out of the window. JUDGE phe the grouch can't abide in the same domicile. Old Gloom doesn’t sit around and toast his feet at the family fire- side as long as JUDGE is on the job. Hadn't you better send in your subscription now, while the spint moves you, and be assured of fifty- two weeks of continual joy for a Five-dollar bill? Judge 225 Fifth Avenue New York J In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com