Judge — October 25, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REFLECTED Uncle George—What makes you wear your hair all down over your face like that, girl? when Muriel interrupted him with the warning as to snuffles. “Snuffles,’’ she explained, ‘‘interfere with the flow of eloquence. As for natural beauties, whenever [ feel I don’t appreciate them I go to a favorite author or two, whose descriptive pas- sages I keep marked—this one for spring, that one for summer, another for autumn. Much. that is beautiful and inspiring has been written, you know.’’ “But, mademoiselle, one can 1 always more vividly enjoy one’s own impressions !’" “Of course. I’m enjoying the morning far beyond your description of it. Youth, you know, is impressionable.’ He looked at her, doubtful whether he had understood her, and resolved to come at once to the point, ‘‘I shall delay no longer, mademoiselle,’’ he said, again removing his hat, in spite of the fact that he already was getting the snuffles. ‘‘I love you, mademoiselle!"” “How many times have you said the same to others in English?”” “N-e-v-a-i-r-e!'" “But in French, Russian?” “Ah! You laugh at me! I swear you are the first—the only—woman I haf loved! The first I would marry! Are you not ambitious, like others? I would make you'a countess. I haf an estate. I can gif you everything! Come! Gif mea kiss!’ Conscious of ‘his fascination, he put, but 8 npn pat her laughter deterred him. t “T never kiss old persons—except papa and mamma “Titre are hygienic as well as sentimental reasons. ‘Of cqurdé-when a girl is alone with a young man—say, her fjanct—séntiment overcomes any scientific notion. And I’m going to make a con- fidant of you, my dear count. I’m going to tell you something even papa and mamma don’t know. Look!’’ She pointed ata dashing young man just coming into view, apparently by ap- pointment. ‘‘I will introduce you to my fiance.” But the Count of Ogaritzoff, who really had caught the snuffles, begged briefly to be excused. . in German and in your own beautiful Shifting Danger ROM some of the drug stores in the stone-quarry district in northern Indiana, you can buy about anything from talcum powder to blasting gelatine. Not long ago a small quarry operator, in a buggy, drove up to one of these stores. He was accompanied by his wife. Calling to the proprie he said, ‘‘Jim, bring me that package I bought awhile ago.”’ The package was brought and placed in the buggy at the feet of the man and his wife. The latter eyed the bundle sus- piciously. ‘*What's in that package?"’ she asked, with some fervor, **Now, never mind,”’ said the husband. to hurt you.’’ The evasion excited the woman’s further suspicions. Spivens,’’ she shrilled, ‘‘that’s a package of dynamite!’’ “Well, what if it is?’ said Ed, with some emphasis. won't do you any damage unless it explodes.’’ “Ed Spivens,”’ said the woman, with much feeling, “‘if you think [ am going to ride six miles in a buggy with you with fifty pounds of dynamite at my feet, you are a bigger fool than I thought you were! You make the man take that stuff right “That's not going “Rd “Tt out and put it in the back part of the buggy, under the seat!"" Reducing the Tax Manufacturer—What we must do now, my boy, is find some way of redacing the tax on silk stockings. His son and heir—I1 have it, father! Give a bottle of anti- fat with each pair. Encouraging ‘‘Why, my dear sir,’’ cried the enthusiastic agent, “if I went on and told yeu all about this car, you’d think I was lying!"’ “I think so, anyhow,’’ said the prospective victim, with asmile. ‘Go on—it interests me.”” COMPARISON Visitor—David, hey? Well, i'd like t’ 'a’ seen Goliath ? comicbooks.com