Judge — October 4, 1913 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Germs ONE HEARS of germs of wit, germs of honesty and the like, but this generation has become acquainted with too many germs of a more practical nature. People these days hold the germ in fear, and no wonder. Scientists re- motely and nearly asso- ciated with medicine have been finding vari- ous germs of diversely evil potencies now for many years, and the collection is by no means complete. * Their discoveries appear to have mul- tiplied diseases, and the ordinary man and woman spend much time that for- merly was devoted to industry speculating as to whether indulgence in this or that thing good to eat is to have a sequel with a physician in it. The chief proof of the beneficence of modern germ discoveries, if one is to discount more hygienic living generally, is seen in the lengthening average age of man in highly civilized environment. But with some persons there may be a ques- tion whether a shorter life, free from fearof germs, would not bea merrier one. The older among persons living tend to scoff at germs and germicides and all their works. They cite cases known in their youth of persons who ate every- thing that is taboo to-day, never worried over consequences, and lived to ripe old ages. Surely when it is regarded as dangerous to eat an apple ‘‘raw’’ out of hand with the skin on it, most persons of middle age that reme:nber the gustatory delights of apples in a natural state—a delight often enhanced by their surrepti- tious gaining—must wonder what there is in life, after all, when it is hedged by “don'ts’’ that the every-day vocabulary formerly never knew. Just now there is chance of some new light on the general germ theory. One Estelle Ingram, colored, of Memphis, the other day, as she expresses it, ‘‘done et some of the jelly in dem little tall glasses’’ in the laboratory of her em- ployer, a physician, That scientific man had been analyzing jars of preserves and fruits that Estelle handled, and while alone she had partaken of some billions of germs of almost numberless diseases in other receptacles, supposing them pleasingly edible. If Estelle has all the symptoms of all the diseases her fell appetite led her to assimilate, the doctors who are watching her should be kept busy making notes for the behoof of future generations. And if she escapes all infection and danger what will be the answer? Brief Decisions HERE'S a mistaken notion in some minds that when woman fully gets the ballot, man’s head will roll into the basket. But there will still be a large number of women who will agree with a large number of men on most subjects of mutual interest. If all temperaments were alike, there would be no diversity in amusement. The economic difference between some orators and some windmills is that the windmills pump water. A The High Cost of Living, Indeed! MArY people would grumble, anyway, and The High Cost of Living is the buffer for much ill temper sprung from other causes. It has been left for an enterprising magistrate, living in a Kentucky town just across the river from Cincinnati, to disprove that there is any added expense in existence in his neigh- borhood. Gretna Green, that village in Scotland just over the border from England, that flourished from an easy-going matrimo- nial patronage long ago, has a rival in this Kentucky town and magistrate, who offers advantages to runaway couples that never have been paralleled, perhaps, since marriage was instituted. For the modest sum of ten dollars, his auto will meet the happy but hasty pair at the train and take them to his ‘‘mat- rimonial parlor,’’ where a phonograph will play a wedding march and a photog- rapher will take a snapshot of the cere- mony and its figures. After tying the knot, this confederate of Cupid will take the couple in his motor car to a hotel, where a wedding feast will be served, and without further fee the magistrate will bid them speed. It may be that this magistrate attracts so many couples that he gets discounts for details of his entertainment, and even on gasoline for his auto, and on the whole makes a fair day's wage; but if any one can beat this program for a ten-dollar bill, Jupce will be open to a full demon- stration of the novelty. some wise person handed down to poster: ity the truism that what is one man’s meat is another man’s poison. comicbooks.com iny